My Armpits Smell Delicious – Yours Can, Too!

in #howto6 years ago (edited)

Indeed, my pits smell exactly like maple syrup.

I know – it does sound improbable and ridiculous, yet – I assure you – I'm absolutely sincere.

If you had the good-fortune to be near me right now, during this absurd heat wave – as I battle the high temps without the aid of AC – you'd likely be a sweaty mess yourself, but at least you'd appreciate the sweetness wafting from my sweaty pits.


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How, you might ask?

No – I'm not using one precious drop of that sticky, deliciousness extracted from the maple tree; that amber-colored goodness belongs on my tongue – perhaps to linger a moment on my lips – not to be wasted on skin that cannot perceive its delectable flavor. Nor am I using some syrup-scented antiperspirant. In fact – I no longer need any deodorant at all.

I can save the syrup for the pancakes and still smell exquisite.


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Here's my secret: Fenugreek!

I sprout fenugreek seeds and eat them daily. Just a small handful is enough to keep me smelling delicious for days. And it absolutely works on the fellas, too!

If you follow my handy instructions below – I promise you; No more stanky onions!

You can thank me later, as you swat away the hoards of admirers, drunk on your wonderful aroma. ;)


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First Things First

You'll want to procure a sprouting rack and some seeds.

Turns out the seeds found in the bulk section at the health food store just won't cut it. We found these on Amazon, specifically for sprouting. They're reliable and sprout well, every time.


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• the packaging has changed, but the Amazon link takes you to these same seeds. •


Step One

  • pour a small amount of seeds into the bottom tray – (you'll need less than you think! It might take a few times before you find your perfect amount.)
  • cover with cool water – just enough to ensure all seeds are submerged – (some will float to the top – give 'em a little tap with your finger and they'll sink!)
  • soak for 6-12 hours – (I start mine in the evening, not long before I go to bed. By morning they're good to go!)

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Step Two

  • drain the soak water – this is most easily done by simply transferring the seeds from the solid, bottom tray into one of the clear, slatted trays – (my first few times, I filled both slatted trays with sprouts, but soon learned that doing so resulted in far more sprouts than I could reasonably eat! Now I alternate trays, starting a new batch every few days.)
  • rinse well / drain well – (I use the edge of the tray lid, tucked into each corner, to hold in the sprouts while ensuring all the water drains.)
  • set somewhere out of the way and out of sunlight

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Step Three

  • for the next few days, repeat the rinse/drain process twice each day – (as I begin in the evening, my sprout-care schedule is quite easy – rinse in the morning, rinse before bed.)
  • it happens quite quickly; by the second rinse, you'll see the seeds will have already developed tiny tails

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Step Four

  • knowing when your sprouts are done is a matter of personal preference – some enjoy them while still in a 'yellow' stage, before they grow they're tiny green leaves – (I prefer to give them a couple more days, until they're actually pushing the lid off the tray!)
  • once you've decided they're ready, remove the lid, set aside and allow them to dry for 6+ hours. *(note – some take the time to de-hull the sprouts using a small salad/herb spinner. Having tried that, I've decided that's just more effort than necessary. The tan-colored hulls are rather tasteless, so...I just leave 'em on.)

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Step Five

  • transfer to an airtight container and refrigerate – they'll stay fresh and tasty for 3-5 days

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Step Six

  • enjoy the fruits of your (minimal) labor – add to salads or simply pinch a bunch and eat 'em on their own

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• garnishing my fave – massaged kale salad (I'll share the recipe for that next!) •


Now – I dare you to try it! It's not just your pits that'll smell so lovely – this'll make your perspiration everywhere smell scrumptious.

Dare I say...who needs actual pancakes when your sweat resembles their familiar, syrup-drenched fragrance? I promise – from the dance-floor to the bedroom – your friends and lovers will be impressed.

Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'breakfast in bed.'


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I was nominated to participate in @comedyopenmic Round 24 by @diebitch.
In turn, I nominate @breezin & @gray00


Following encouragement by @mountainjewel, I'm also offering this as an entry for the natural medicine contest. Learn more about @naturalmedicine, visit their intro post here and their Discord here.

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Feed it to the french

Excellent idea!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you just made my day.

ohh my god, what has become of this world... posts like this...

Haha .. this made my day 😃

Awesome! Glad to be of service. ;)

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You had me at your armpits smell delicious <3

Yesssss.....GOTCHA!!

Love this!!!!

Thanks, Bluefy!!

Lovely tutorial Zippy! Ive been eating straight seeds without sprouting, to the same effect, but i think im going to give sprouting my seedies a try very soon!
♡♡♡♡♡

Awwwesome!! We're maple pits sisters! <3

I'm going to smell like breakfast, just perfect.

This is amazing!! And great post. Thanks for showing us how to do it. I hate BO!!! I'm going to try this.

Yes!! Lemme know if you try it!! :)

Well, this is cool. My pits are gross. My family and co-workers will be happy.

love this love this! i was saying yes! another one who has good smelling armpits! -- for i too love the smell of my armpits, but then i had to do a double take bc..... my armpits smell like Fenugreek or curry, even!! haha i am seriously in love with smelling them. I'd also love to invite you to check out @naturalmedicine (and our contest) as this would be an incredible entry if you should so desire to enter it in :)

Aweeesome! I'll admit – I've been known to raise my arm, inhale and smile. LOL!

Thanks for the heads up! I'll go check out this contest!

@zipporah indians called them Methi , it is not only gives you cool pit but also drinking the overnight soaked water early empty stomach in morning keeps you away from joint knee pains and also helps in good tummy....so do not throw them away....it has multiple uses.....even you can have the seeds little roasted to keep bad breath away.

I've heard this – about it's multiple uses! I haven't tried saving the soak water, but I might do next time. Thanks for the suggestion!

Wait whaaaaaat?????

How did I not know about this? I sprout broccoli seeds but had no idea about this side effect fenugreek being of maple syrup smelling sweat.

Except this is comedy open mike so are you punking me? ‘Cause maple syrup sweat???? Whaaaat?

Ooooh – well...I suppose you'll just have to try it yourself and see if you've been punked..right? Bwahahahaha!! ;)

Just perfect, wow, I have to try it! Great tutorial, @zipporah!
I'm nominating this post to the #dailyspotlights by @pixresteemer!

Thank you, dear! I appreciate that. :)

Thank you, dear! I appreciate that. :)

I want to lick your armpits!!

I actually LOL'd at this!

That's great! I couldn't resist LOL

This was unexpected and Awsome... Lol
I don't smell even tho it's crazy hot here to. But this idea was cool... Might try it out 😉👍
Thank you for the information and the smile this post gave me. 🤗❤️

Thanks, dear! I hoped it make people smile. Perhaps not the funniest thing, but – it's what I had to offer. ;)

🤣🤣🤣🤣 you are too cute zipporah!

Useful info for sure tho 👍hows your ankle?

Glad you find it useful! LOL! ;)

Foot is still achey, but healing. I've graduated from the boot, mostly. Thanks for asking!

I am in! trying this out...been too long with smelly armpits! lol.

Try it! You'll love it...I promise.

Well i start reading and i get interest, more for the country i live is a tropical, not for me but is interesante, very well!. I like it, have a good night

You should try it! Would work well in tropical climates.

i have to search it, they are going to be hard to find but im going to search it to see, it makes me curius

Hi zipporah,

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Thanks, guys! I know this isn't really your standard humor, but – it was the best I could muster under pressure!

I think I'm gonna try this one, and share to my friends as well. With stagering heat in the Philippines, this one is helpfull for sure.. The only problem is that I may crave for pancakes every time I sweat.lol.

It looks like mung sprout though..

You should definitely try it! If you do, let me know how it goes. ;)

I think if you were Canadian, having your armpits smell like bacon or beer would bring the guys running! :)

I do think you might be right... :)

in the common inside-jokes that meno and I have there is a thing called "rendering" - this means having sweaty stinky arm pits... and this happens often when i render 3D scenes on my comp lol.... too much info. anyway, i've hear a lot of good stuff about Fenugreek - i know it has some hair enhancing properties, i heard it can even make boobs bigger lol!

So I can simply smear my pancakes on my armpit, both economical and brilliant 🤔

oohhhh... this i need to see... well, actually smell...

hahahah

Thanks for your entry, @zipporah and welcome to #comedyopenmic.

I hate anything smelly so what could be better than a good smelling armpit is a delicious smelling armpit!! My only concern is I love food and I'm afraid I might accidentally lick my own delicious smelling armpit when I'm hungry.

This is wonderful new information! I am 💯onboard to trying [almost] any herbal or naturalistic treatment. Never heard of using fenugreek for perspiration.
I'll definitely do a "Guinea pig" test of it!
Did a quick Google search -- a 3.5 oz serving of fenugreek is protein, fiber and potassium rich, with few calories.
That gets a ✔in my book!
Does anyone know if the fenugreek sprouts taste similar to alfalfa sprouts? The two look very similar to me.
Your photos are brilliant, and I especially like the portrait photography!
Upv and you gained a new follower!
@zipporah🤗

If you're into natural medicines, check out the growing #naturalmedicine tag! Check the comment below - you'll love it!

Thanks so much for the heads up and I'll definitely check out your blog!

Woo-hoo! Yay! We adore your work, and we've upvoted your post with some @naturalmedicine love! Your article now has a chance to get curated and featured under the round-up of our blog.

If you're a supporter of all things natural healing, you might like to read our introductory post here. We'd also love to welcome you on Discord here!!

I haven't tried sprouting seeds yet, I really should try this.

I'd be happy to try that.
Thank you :) @zipporah

you really grabbed me with your title, I don't use deodorant either, sometimes some lemon juice, I also love sprouting but don't really sprout Fenugreek that much, so I will have to get back into to it. Great presentation too, nice one @zipporah

I recall a news story from 10 or 15 years ago where people in NYC were calling 911 reporting a funny smell. It turned out to be, not the poison gas attack they feared, but a food company distilling a batch of fenugreek seeds for maple syrup flavoring.

dude. This is amazing. Can't wait to try!

This is so awesome. I am going to have to try this. If i eat enough bacon and sausage i wonder if i will smell like maple bacon.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH Maple bacon

That's certainly unexpected - sprouted seeds as deodorant. Great post! I would be interested to find out the nutritional benefits of these sprouts.💚

While not sure how serious this is @zipporah, ...

" ... I am absolutely sincere ... "

... given the Comedy Open Mic reference, I am sure of the quality content.

You've done a very nice job, with both your writing style and great illustrations.

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I must admit... when I saw this was a comedyopenmic post I creased up... imagining you being the cause of the whole Steemiverse to head off on an epic voyage on the hunt for maple-smelling-pits and a worldwide shortage of fenugreek seeds.

Please please please don't let this be a prank... is it? I want to look as pitt-blissed as the girls in the photos! :)

Gotta try this... please let it be real
E x

after all these years of stench... finally i can smell sweet. thank you for helping me

Congratz, your post has been resteemed, upvoted and… featured in The Daily Spotlights of August 3 2018! Check it out to see who nominated you…

You have beautiful pictures of armpits.... really zippy? LOL. You really are the best. This is a good idea for people in Venezuela since deodorant si hard to find. LOL.

Funny girl!
Now you are in the top two funniest photographers of steemit according to my personal hall of fame :)

What a thing! I'd never heard of this until you mentioned it on PYPT! Isn't Mother Nature amazing...?!?!? 😊

i am follow and resteem for you @zipporah

I will definitely try this, I like sprouts anyway, LOL I also have a very good friend in Kenya, with a Sweet Wife that shares your name. :)

My Amish neighbors need to try this. I feel comfortable saying that outloud because they are not supposed to use computers.
Amish neighbors if you are reading this... zzzzing double burn.

This is awesome! I have eaten them in a Chicken Moroccan dish they cook for women who have just had a baby. I love them cooked like this, I have never eaten them as sprouts but this looks amazing! I must try! It is much better than swallowing a spoonful of the hard-raw fenugreek lol!!