So yesterday i was talking to my good friend @ewuoso who is from nigeria. We were talking about how our countries are like and various other topics, wherein he told me something so surprising(to me)
In Nigeria :
If a man wants to marry a woman, he will have to give money to that woman.
But in India :
If a man wants to marry a woman, it is other way around.
Woman needs to pay the man.
So the man gets the woman as well as the money.
I really thinked quite deep about this.
-- In india, the number of women is less than number of men : so logically value of women is more than men if considered populationwise.
-- India is not too good of a country when it comes to women safety or girl child birth. Girl children are still killed in abdomen, though governments has passed some laws which gets half implemented.
So why is the girl child murdered anyways?
Because girls are considered burden in india.
Though i must admit a lot has changed over the years but things are still not good. When someone gives birth to a girl, the only and only reason to kill them is paying huge money for their marriage. People prefer boys hoping they would earn and bring money to home.Think for a moment, if indian marirage culture is like that of nigeria, A MASSIVE PROBLEM OF INDIA : KILLING THE GIRL CHILD : would merely exist. Rather i suppose, killing of boy child might begin. And people would be giving birth to army of girls, not army of boys which is the current situation in India.
And yeah paying money to groom is called as DOWRY SYSTEM. Even when the woman pays the man at the time of marriage, in some cases, in-laws torture her to bring in more money or assets, sometimes resulting in suicide of the bride.
These things are deep in India, and believe me, other than talking about these problems, i am doing something in real life to change this all, be it changing the ways around my marriage or marriage of my siblings , or daunting or taunting people to make them understand this is not fair.
There is lot i am planning to bring forward in coming days that would rather prove being a surprise read for everyone here.
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I think it has something to do with Religion as well as Culture. Nigeria being Muslim Country, men pay women for Marrying them. The money paid is called as 'Mahr'. It is demanded by the Bride and amount is also fixed by the bride. It happens in almost Every Majority Muslim Country be it Nigeria, Middle East, etc.
Coming to India, the culture has really influenced the Religion. Muslim Grooms' family pay the MAHR but receive a huge dowry from the family of Bride And you are right dowry has made the status of women quite horrible. Girl babies are being aborted, Girl child denied basic rights by their own parents sometimes even killed, Child marriage to some very old guy inorder to evade from paying Dowry, and Even Brides being Burnt Alive by their in-laws.
I agree with you that the practice nowadays has limited itself to some rural parts of country, but it is still there.
You have put up a good Post here (Cause).
yeah this is the part i am relating to exactly, little baby girls suffering the cultural norms before even coming to the world.
Just hoping things will get better with time in our great diverse country :):)
I too hope so...
@thatindianlady 1. either man pays women or women pays man the money will end up finally in man's home.
Man paying woman or woman paying man , ending up the money to man is not my concern.
My concern is the influence of our culture on the lives of Indian women. It is because of dowry that girl child are being killed since always and considered a burden. Have it been the opposite way, things in India would have been entirely different.
INDIA IS NOT SAFE FOR WOMEN
i am not accusing, i am talking about the statistical as well as real facts. India comes in top 10 unsafest countries for women. Also chandigarh is like my second hometown, my mom is from there, it is a good city indeed. But i am talking about overall country. Its not the cravings of man that causes rape or molestations, brothel are there to serve cravings. In other safer countries, women are not picked up from roads and raped. Woman are not raped inside buses and rapist goes free.
And more importantly i believe, only a woman of this country can tell if it safe or not, dont you think so?
Which country r saying is safe yes womens are abducted from road either its america or India and yes womens are getting raped in buses other then India. In Japan man can rape women and no legal penalty on men for rape can u believe that but in India a rapist dont get treatment like that
yes rapes and molestations happen everywhere.
There is a rate or the frequency or the data.
Just like we use gdp to map the growth of a country, every country has % labelled of woman safety.
The law order here is bad. and now maybe in many other countries too. But the number of cases here is unbelievable.
and i live in capital region, where it should not be like that, but this is same in bangalore or delhi or villages.
offcourse the frequency and numbers will be higher then any other country but you r not understanding the reason behind it because we also have the high number of population then any other country ... Duhh!!!!
On every Indian girls mind 😩 High time for a change.The movement has started though.Checkout Nilambur in Kerala. ✩ High hopes
checking out
I am sorry you have to go through all that in your country.
Though i respect every person's culture but at the same time i fell that is very wrong. why will lady have to pay a man for marrying her. Apart from the fact that women will have to give birth i guess men need women more. they should be treated like queen. how will a woman pay me for marriage. i will loose my sense of ownership
Yeah i agree but this is how it goings, and girls suffer bad from this even when they are in abdomen.
Sorry bouh that
Nice article... But let's look at it this s way firstly ** a lady paying dowries is not a bad idea because if you check the quy will be taking care of the girl. ** secondly the guy don't get the qirl, they actually gets married a choice made by both parties. OK I hate the killing of girls is horrible, ride on with what ever your doing to stop this. thank you.
Right but the problem is, girl child in india are killed in abdomen and they are considered a burden because the parents will have to pay the dowry, so having a girl child is quite expensive so they are killed. That is the issue.
Thankyou for your comment :)
Wow... What is the India government doing.... Is their no law fighting against this? I would need a source for more details, we could raise public awareness on this issue.. Pleas what is you take.
Yup there are laws , a lot being done to prevent the girl child killih but the hearts of the people have not changedmuch : most of the population wants a boy as a kid
That's not cool..... You have plans right?
What do I say? Culture it is. Does anyone have to even pay for any at the end? So, one doesn't think he/she owns the other. Many males down here in Nigeria think that as long as they paid a dowry for a woman, they "own the woman". Every life matter and entitled to live happily.
Yup the little baby girl in abdomen pay for this and get aborted being considered a burden.
After reading this post, i'm thinking of marrying an Indian lady 😂 😂 😂... Who doesn't like free gift
heheh :p
Don't You like it that way
Wonderful post! Long live diversity in equality!
yeaaah
:))
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hehehe i cant stop laughing, foreigners(the guy out of countries) get the deal mostly in case of love marriages, where love is the cost and you get to know an indian girl in your country.
Haha.Nice offer.But Indians are very conservative when it comes to marriage.Forget inter racial,not even intercaste is allowed.You can even get killed.So think again.Lols
You are right here,
even intercaste marriages are quite tough. The killing is called honor killing which goes in some exceptional cases. And in some exceptional cases parents are really supportive and donot care about the society at all.
Mine is going to be an intercaste so trust me, the struggle is real.
Oh woww.Wishing you all the luck then :)
free. hahahahahah
free