We were the Awesome Family. My daughter and Her father, who, for all His little quirks, was good at housework and teaching Lili to read. He also took Her for a walk every day down to the park on the lake, stopping by His mother’s on the way. Gramma and Lili would play some, then to the park They’d go.
Lili was two when We moved into the two bedroom apartment in the converted old house overlooking the lake. Lili had Her room, Daddy had the Couch/bed in the middle, and I had the master bedroom at the end. But Lili preferred to sleep with Me, cuddling up as I wrapped an arm around Her after reading a bedtime story.
Daddy slept in the main room because I snore too much for Him. I wished that wasn’t so, but accepted it in Our relationship. So My angel and I slept in the king-size bed, and Daddy slept out there.
My work was to bread the table, and the position I had, as editor and graphic designer at the local Pennysaver breaded the table well enough that We had what We needed. And for two years, the Awesome Family thrived. The Awesome Family, so named by Lili.
As Daddy’s job was teaching reading, Mine was teaching math. When Lili was four and I tried to explain the number line with the idea of negative numbers, She looked at Me and said, “Mommy, math is easy.” I guess My job was easier than Daddy’s.
Lili was blossoming into an articulate, outgoing, energetic child. I have a video of Her at three somewhere, shuffled through the many devices I have had over the years. Lili is watching a cartoon on TV and Daddy is recording. He asks Her if She can count to ten. Without moving Her eyes from the TV, She says, “One…”
Daddy prompts Her. “What’s next?”
A pause, and She responds, “Two…” “Then what?” Pause… “Three…” All the while watching the TV. Then Daddy asks for the next number and She doesn’t respond. More prompting…
Finally He asks, “Do I have to turn off the TV?”
Lili whips Her head around, looking His way, and says, in one breath, “Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten.” And turns back to the TV.
One time when She was about three and a half, She asked Me for something, or to do something – for the life of Me I cannot remember what it was – but I had said, “No.” I explained My reasoning, and when done, She started to fuss, whining about it. I asked Her, “What part of ‘No’ don’t You understand?” She paused but began fussing again. I said, “Look, when I say ‘What part of ‘No’ don’t You understand?,’ it means the answer is ‘No.’ Now You have a choice. You can keep fussing along, making things unpleasant for Those around You, or You can accept that answer and move on.”
Long pause… “Okay, Mommy,” She said as a smile lit Her face. And We moved on.
As I was a victim of satanic ritual abuse and just sexual abuse, having sworn to never let that happen to a child of Mine, I trusted no One. Not even Daddy. So I asked Lili, when She had not yet turned four, if anyOne ever touched Her between Her legs (I had no data to suggest anyOne had) or had Her touch Them between Their legs.
Her honest confusion about such a question told Me all I needed to know. Before She answered immediately, “No,” I knew no One had. I was relieved, very, very relieved. “If anyOne ever does, You be sure to tell Me, even if They tell You not to, okay?” “Okay,” She said as She nodded, still a bit perplexed.
There are so many moments I could recount, but this is about what happened to the Awesome Family.
When Lili was about four, the Pennysaver was purchased, all the production went out of state, and I was out of a job. I avidly looked for work. On Monster, alone, I would apply to 25-30 jobs a day, and I had a list of other job sites I frequented.
Some days I applied to 50 jobs. Other days, not so much, but averaged about 35 jobs a day. I got a nibble and nothing. We got food stamps. As the months progressed, the money ran out. And We knew We would either have to leave or be evicted. With nowhere to go, the last thing I wanted was Lili to be on the streets.
We discussed what to do, Daddy and I, and I suggested maybe My sister would take care of Lili and keep Her safe. He was reluctant to break up the Awesome Family, but wanted to make sure Lili was safe, too, so He agreed.
I asked My sister if She would take care of Lili until We could get back on Our feet, and She said yes. The problem was getting Lili from one side of the country to the other. We surely could not afford it, and My sister had too many obligations to come and get Her.
And that’s when Nana and Papa stepped in. Papa was Daddy’s father, and Nana was His second wife, having divorced Daddy’s mother. We had spent holidays and visits at Their place, and things all seemed normal. When They suggested that They take Lili to Sister’s place, I felt grateful.
At one point, Nana said that They would keep Lili for three weeks before taking Her on the trip. I didn’t mind if She was out of Our hair as We tried to see if We could find ways to keep some of Our stuff before We headed out. So They came to pick Her up.
As She was going out the door, I broke into tears, and Nana said sharply, “Oh, don’t cry! Now is not the time!” I tucked My tears in, gave Her a hug, and off She went.
In the time thereafter, a friend of Daddy’s said We could come live with Him and His wife. And so began Our adventures. I was a bit confused by the fact that, when I would call My sister to speak with Lili, every time, She would say, “I love You, I love You. Bye.” And either hang up or hand the phone back to My sister… Eventually I figured that She would call Me if She wanted to talk to Me.
After close to a year, We finally got set in an apartment and were so thrilled at making plans for where Lili would sleep. But… My sister would not give Her back! And thus ensued legal back and forths, and in the end, Lili’s “legal” mother is now My sister.
For six years I was mystified as to why My sister would do such a thing! The only thing I could come up with was that She, being barren, envied Me for having Lili, and so took Her from Me. But even that I had troubles believing – it just did not seem it would be in Her character.
And then… In an email, She asked Me if I knew that Lili had arrived hitting People, throwing tantrums, and – the thing that horrified Me to the core! - that She would lie on Her back and take a pencil or such and poke it at Her vagina!!!
I was floored. My heart broke! I knew that I had NOT kept Lili safe. And then… All the little clues began to emerge. The many things I had brushed off. Papa’s hand “accidentally” grabbing My breast, or passing along My rear end a little too firmly. Many times.
Lili had never slept with anyOne else, curling up with Me every night, even when We were staying at Nana and Papa’s, but near Her fourth birthday, Nana said She wanted to take Lili to a theme park a bit of a ways away. So I said, “Sure,” and Lili went off with Nana. When They returned a couple of days later, I asked about Her experience. She said it was fun and changed the subject. I was expecting to be regaled with stories of rides and such, but I didn’t dwell on it.
A few nights later, We cuddled up as usual on a warm night, blankets scrunched at Our feet. A while later it had cooled enough that I wanted a blanket, and as I sat up to get the blanket, Lili tensed up – something She had never done before. At the time I wrote it off as having startled Her as She was at the brink of sleep. Now… It is clear that She somehow expected Me to do something She didn’t want and was bracing for it. And She had to have gotten that idea from Nana. Who knows what Nana did to Her, but it was surely unwanted.
I guess She forgot about Our discussion several months before…
There was the incident with Our stuff. We had asked if We could put some of Our stuff in Nana and Papa’s basement, and They had said sure. They even came and got it and took it to Their place. But when We went to get it, when We were settled again, They had just dumped Our stuff in piles, like trash, here and there – and some of Our stuff was missing.
And there was the incident, about a year after Lili left, where Papa was fired for sexual misconduct.
I should, I really should, have known.
They lied to My sister – and She believed Them. They told Her that Lili was always that way, screaming, hitting, biting, and doing sexually related things. Never was Gramma, who saw Lili most every day, asked what She was like. Never were any of the Others who knew the Awesome Family asked. All would have said She was healthy and sharp as a tack. In preschool They were in awe of Her, outgoing, sociable, bright, giving, helpful, and happy. They were not asked either.
And now I grasp that Lili was told to do no more than say that She loved Me and "bye" when I called. Making sure They show Her living for legal purposes, but not letting Us discuss anything.
Today I ponder what horrific, satanic!, things They did to break Her. She must have broken easily, because The took Her to My sister only three days, not three weeks, after I let My lovely daughter go into Their hands.
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Endia – A Short Story by Amaterasu Solar
http://tapyoureit.boards.net/thread/260/endia
Quite the Opposite – A Short Story for Change – by Amaterasu Solar
http://tapyoureit.boards.net/thread/72/quite-opposite-short-story-change
The Abundance Paradigm – A Novella by Amaterasu Solar
http://tapyoureit.boards.net/thread/242/abundance-paradigm-novella
My father taught Me never to believe anything. He told Me to place probabilities and adjust them as new data come along, asking the question, "Does that explain what I see?," when evaluating data. He was an aerospace engineer, and worked with T Townsend Brown (see My featured vid on YouTube). From a very early age I was concerned that the way I was told things worked, in terms of government and social affairs, did not explain what I saw. So the first few decades I worked to determine WHY this was.
I wound up in banking, seeing the flow of things in the headquarters of a major bank in Los Angeles. I became intimately familiar with the flow of money, and economics. I asked the question, "Why do We use money?"
When the web arrived, My research capabilities flourished, and I learned much that explained what I saw, but the only explanations I found for why We use money started with trade and barter, which are still money in a direct form, and did not answer the WHY. Then, I came upon the explanation that these were used because, with a finite amount of stuff, it was to ensure that We got Our "fair share" in a scarcity environment, in exchange for the work We added.
From this I realized the WHY. We were accounting for Our energy input into things. And that We needed to do this because the Human energy was scarce compared to what We needed to be produced (back then).
I also discovered that over half Our planet's wealth was "owned" by fewer than 100 Humans...
I was very interested in psychology, too. And studied it deeply, being fascinated by psychopathy, focusing on that aberration, learning that They had discovered a gene that manifested Individuals who were incapable of love, compassion, caring, and empathy for Others – primary psychopaths. Seeing that the wealth was so disproportionate, and that the families who "owned" it inbred, what would explain what I saw would be that They wanted to retain that psychopathic gene. Given that the wealth could feed, clothe, house ALL of Us (and give Us freedom) abundantly and many times over, and yet None set forth to care for Humanity, I had to give probability approaching 100% that They are psychopaths, as that explains perfectly what I see, and answers My quest for why the way I was told things worked did not explain what I saw.
And I asked... If I was a psychopath, with enough wealth to buy anything and anyOne I wanted to, and given that money = power (power over Others is something psychopaths seek), would I be motivated to create a false "reality" for the masses and thereby manipulate Them? I think You can figure out what answer I came up with. And would that explain what I see? Absolutely.
Now, given that money is merely the accounting token used to account for Our Human energy, it would follow that free energy would threaten fully the accounting for Our energy. If I was a psychopath, with enough money to buy sites like Wikipedia, the media, the education system, etc., would I do all I could to suppress and hide free energy?
And given I personally know that electrogravitics offers both gravity control and energy from the aether (the electromagnetic field that pervades the universe), and that it went into black projects, such efforts to hide and suppress would explain what I see completely.
So I am neither a "conspiracy theorist," nor am I a "conspiritard," but rather... I am a conspiracy analyst. And given this analysis, knowing that conspiracies are the NORM in history and that they didn't just stop some years back, I conclude that conspiracies abound. That explains perfectly what I see.
Love always.
we do seem to forget that a child needs their parents more than they need shelter
Well, I was fearful that somehow, living on the street, We would be attacked and Lili taken... So I wanted Her safe from the craziness that living on the streets would be.
we do what we must
Or at least the what We think is best. If Nana and Papa were decent Ones, Our family would be together. But I did not know...and I should have.
brave the dark and treacherous path ahead