Someone on Hive I know texted me today, they wanted to let me know that there was a cure somewhere that could benefit me, and I forgot I didn't have their number saved.
I thanked them and went on to tell them that I already know about the "cure" but went on to tell them that it was accessible to me and many others.
However, I'm glad they they thought of me. I haven't really been in touch with reality for 3 years now. I've been living, hustling, praying, fighting, worshipping, changing, but never really keyed in to enjoying life, just "living it"
I honestly don't enjoy most of the hustles, because I'm not healthy enough to find the thrill, just hustling for the fear of bills and commitment, because of course, no one cares.
However, I'm old enough to realize that there's a difference between giving up and being tired of fighting it all. While the latter can cause the former, somehow I still find myself holding the life.
It's easy to say "don't give up, don't stop fighting" however when life becomes chronically repetitive in a sad way, it's difficult to find the strength to keep going without being sincerely tired.
We live in a world that's purely extractive. Wicked bosses, manipulative jobs; those that are created to tire you, pay you less while extracting all your energy. The pharmaceutical system that wants to make sure a cure never exists so they can keep making money.
These systems are there to take away from you, and if you're coming from a place of inability, that's only when you'd realize that life's competition doesn't spare the weakest person.
However, you have to find motivation to keep going, we all leave this earth someday already, and living fulfilled means putting everything you have on the life to make sure you make an impact of your own. Self-motivation is the best thing. I consider external motivation very aggrandizing and this is because I think there's literally no one who can help us up except we decided to get up.
I'm not saying we don't need others, we do, in reality we can only truly give up or don't if we find the inner strength to do so. I hustle everyday, tirelessly, in severe illness and and lack of motivation or strength, because the bills has to be paid. I'd wish I have a personal business or brand that can generate some income, so I can leave the gig market, but there aren't capital to do that.
So what?
I guess I'll take my own advice and continue fighting
Thank you for sharing this — your words truly resonate and remind me how important it is to keep going even when things feel heavy. It takes courage to face life’s challenges and to write about them so honestly. Keep fighting and keep sharing your voice — it matters more than you know. 💛
Thank you
I think it's best to not give up. I think that giving up might cause regrets. I think you are doing well, and I think all that hustle will pay off in the end. Hang in there.
Thank you. Yes, that is why my title for the post was "don't stop fighting"
Giving up is not an option in life, as much as at times I have thought about it. You have an incurable disease that will constantly be a battle, but you are soldiering on and fighting. That's all you can really do. It's hard to find the motivation at times, I understand that completely, but there is no other option available.
Hang in there, and keep up the fight. It's not exactly living the dream, but it's still living!