Bro this is a cold slap of reality 😅
I'm sad to say I pretty much agree with most of it, especially the "running on fumes" bit.
I don't think I can survive in the US though. I'm a little too much on the left, even though I'm relatively centre-right here, to truly make it in America :) The US is cut-throat rugged individualism. My brother has lived there for most of his life and he is like that.
I've never been to Cyprus, but I've been to Rhodes and some nearby islands in that area and YES the weather is PERFECT!!
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You should definitely check out Cyprus. I'm here now and it is lovely. You can get all your British foods and most people speak good English. It is a fusion of British and Greek with some Russians and Africans thrown in.