Alert: This post is satire. I'd rather not mention that (it spoils some of the fun). But I've made that mistake before and do not enjoy dealing with responses from people who think it's real.
A recent article from NBC Sports reported that Major League Baseball pitcher Kieran Lovegrove chose to sign with the San Francisco Giants partly because of Farhan Zaidi, the team’s new President of Baseball Operations. According to the article, Lovegrove was impressed by Zaidi’s record (during his past tenure in Oakland and Los Angeles) of developing pitchers and giving them a chance to succeed. Of course, this isn’t the real story.
Farhan Zaidi. Source: MLB.com.
The real reason Lovegrove signed with the Giants has been buried. No one has dared mention it. But today, the truth comes out. Zaidi wasn’t the real reason because he’s bald.
Lovegrove signed with the SF Giants because of his love of lettuce. Salad, flow, wet lettuce. It’s another term for what could be called “hockey hair”. A billowing flop top that’s well on its way to becoming a mullet. Bad hair is well accepted on this team.
Kieran Lovegrove. Source: NBC SPorts.
San Francisco is known as a tolerant city. Hairstyles reminiscent of 80s mullets may be darn well illegal elsewhere. You may get the guillotine for even thinking of reviving something so offensive from the past. The New York Yankees, for example, make each player shave his facial hair; no moustaches and beards for the Bronx Bombers. But in San Francisco, anything goes, so much so that the city’s baseball team has its share of offensive hairstyles.
And that must be what Kieran Lovegrove found quite acceptable about this team when he chose to sign with them. He pictured himself finding instant camaraderie with future Hall of Famer Madison Bumgarner, who has at least a half mullet on a good day.
Madison Bumgarner. Source: Nailart.info.
He also remembered that Jeff Samardzjia signed a monster free agent deal with the Giants just a few short years ago, even though he’s been stinking it up on the mound ever since (and that’s when he’s been healthy).
The Shark (please don't make me type his name again). Source: MLB.com.
And behind the mound, sometimes directly behind it when the infield shift is on, shortstop Brandon Crawford also sports locks of wet lettuce.
Brandon Crawford. Source: NBC Sports Bay Area.
One of last year’s success stories was pitcher Dereck Rodriguez. Well, yes, he’s got the hair going also. Kieran Lovegrove evidently took notice and would like to see the same success. (By the way, who the heck is Kieran Lovegrove? Hopefully, the dude can pitch so they can trade him for a prospect at the All Star break in July.)
Dereck Rodriguez. Source: KNBR 680, KNBR.com.
Someone call a good barber. No wonder Bryce Harper chose to sign his free agent contract with Philadelphia instead. Although when offering Bryce a deal recently, the Giants must have assured him that the team’s locker room stocks an endless supply of shampoo.
Bryce Harper. Source: Total Pro Sports.
Reference:
This post was satire. If you want real, read the NBC Sports article above.
Lol, an excellent overview of hairstyles @donkeypong and each player can of course choose his own hairstyle depending on his popularity, but I think the main thing is to show a great game, not a hairstyle!
Yes, SF Giants fans didn't complain when they won three championships with some of thee guys.
You are right, some players often have a hairstyle like a salad, so maybe they want to attract attention, but it seems to me that only their playing qualities on the field can truly decorate players!
Lolz, I couldn't laugh enough, you'd go work were work is pleasurable, am sure the cost of barbing in San is quite expensive so they let their players lie, everyone wants comfort and what suits them if I were the one I'd also move to San.
No chance and of these guys could play for Monty Burns!
For sure! And by the way, the Giants clubhouse manager flew a couple of barbers to AZ to take care of business.
https://www.nbcsports.com/bayarea/giants/giants-fly-northern-california-barbers-spring-training-fresh-cuts
I love the satire, almost seemed like the real article itself, infact the humor just sells it for me lol, I'd rather read about Bryce Harper's hair and his contract lol wow this is real satirical, makes so much sense aside the humor
He's paid based on his mane.
@donkeypong, Actually Kieran Lovegrove very deserve to name called like Salad, flow, wet lettuce. His hair style well matched with Dereck Rodriguez. But skills different both of them. However Lovegrove was finally signed with the SF Giants.
Salad Lovegrove. Sounds like a B movie actor.
Especially Bryce Harper has craziest and bad hair deserve to baseball game.
But I didn't bad look of Lovegrove's hair. But personally I didn't heard his big talent. Sorry for it.
Oh, I'd never heard of the guy either before this. :) Bryce has crazy hair, but it goes the wrong way for this team. Zaidi will need a wig.
Is it mean SF giants most accept style only, with low skills lol. Excellent review of baseball bad hair stylers.
Big hair and can't hit? We'll sign you up.
Ah yes...sporting a hairstyle . Let us (salad included) say it can sprout in giant ways. Even leafy satires. Enjoyed.
Sir, I saw a lot of benefit in seeing your post
All your posts are so beautiful
That's how we work with you
yeah you are right , some players hair looks like salad,,
An endless supply of shampoo for those long hair .That is really funny .But i am sure they will be disheartened if they comes to know about this post ha ha ha.....
Lol. fashion is really lacking
Nice post.
I believe to cherish the players qualities than all. Because the players qualities matters a lot
Nice
Yes