As i said, a true disbeliever can become a true believer. Who knows, may be you are on same path :) By the way, hope to see you well soon.
Can you let me know which channel you have been watching, i would like to see if interests me.
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Sure! Here are a couple of my favorites:
https://www.youtube.com/user/logicked
https://www.youtube.com/user/armouredskeptic
Also tons more like them are suggested here:
I suggest you to read real biographies of prophets, their teachings & also as a muslim i want suggest you to read Quran.
I believe that all religions & ideologies are based on some realities but they have impurities mixed with them,so we should purify any ideology through research & we will find the reality.
you're on the right path, but why/how do you follow 88 THOUSAND people??
I'm wondering why @anniemohler is following so much people wondering how she even did it