Expectations

in #life6 years ago (edited)

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I have this weird feeling for some time. I feel like I don't care anymore. I'm tired of listening constsntly that I'm not good enought, but especially, I'm tired of beeing hurt by this. I listen to everything and try to perfect myself, as if it wouldn't affect me at all. Sheets in which I put precious hours of my time, tubes of paint and above all: My Soul; things that I really like how they came out... I break them as if it didn't hurt me at all, even if I feel like I breaking myself in pieces.
I have this teacher. She always tries to get out the best of us. I understand that and I respect her, but when I waste six hours trying hard to do something "acceptable" and than she told me: "You don't even try", it can't be called encouragement. Or when I choose a theme for the paint, speak to her about it until "it's allright", put everything on the page and start to work, and she comes to me and tell me that the sketch is not well placed in the sheet, than replace it for me "corectly", and after I finish all the work, tells me that the theme is wrongly chosen. Like... really?!
Anyway... I didn't write this to complain about my life or whatever you think, I write this because this is one of the reasons that caused my blockage. I'm not creating anything because I'm scared of doing something wrong, becoming sad, gloomy and silent, until I realized that it's foolish to be discouraged by other opinions, no matter who they are. You do not have to be hurt by what they say because they don't understand the world in your way. You are your own master and the only fight is between you and yourself so don't be scared of trying, and the most important don't be scared of fail, don't give up because it didn't came out perfectly... in the end, sadness is just the difference between your talent and other's or maybe even your expectations. Don't let nobody stay between you and succes.

Ps. I don't say that you don't have to expect anything from you, just... do not exagerate.