Now coming to context of the post, I think "non-violence" is a very misunderstood like you said.
The real Philosophy remains hidden because of a general idea that one has about it already.
There is a wisdom in anger and violence too which should be brought to use when necessary.
When you are in the battlefield of kurukshetra, to fight is the only righteous choice.
Non-violence and it's establishment should be the ultimate goal but it must not shade the legacy of the valour of violence that established it .
In reality it's only intentions behind actions that matter.
Walk a mile to avoid a fight but once it starts; don't back down an inch.