A Pakistani Girl's Journey Towards Feminism

in #life6 years ago

As a Pakistani girl, I always favored equal rights for women, but I was never a staunch supporter of feminism until I had to live a life on my own. In fact, I never felt a need to be feminist while I was living with my family, as my parents never made me feel inferior or someone of lesser importance than my brothers. They went out of the way to fulfill my desires. They got me enrolled in the best school in the town.

Here it is pertinent to mention that, with few exceptions, Pakistan has not remained a backward country anymore. Parents are sending their daughters to live in hostels for completing higher education in country's top-ranked universities. And, girls are competing and even outperforming the boys in various fields. Therefore, I had no reason to be a hardcore feminist. Further, I was privileged that my parents often cared for me more than they did for my brother, for the obvious reason that one day I would leave my home after getting married. And, they didn't know what fate I was going to meet at my In-Laws home.

It was not much later when I realized that what I considered to be a privilege was a discrimination, on the basis of the assumption that I was a girl and a weaker person. And, being a timid and fragile creature I was vulnerable to exploitation. It was an experience of living in a hostel and living a life on my own that made me feminist.

As I was living in a hostel, I had to travel alone to my institute, go to market for buying grocery and pay the frequent visit to the corner shop for buying the stuff. While I was in my home, visiting the corner shop was out of the question. Usually, my brothers, father or an elder family member would go to bring me stuff I wanted because I couldn't go due to the absence of a culture that normalizes young girl going out.

It was staying away from the hometown that made me visit public places frequently, which was not so easy for me being a girl. Because in Pakistan it is not common for girls to visit corner shops or go at dhabas (roadside open-restaurants) to buy lunch or dinner. Yes, women and female do visit these places occasionally, but not regularly. In the beginning, I despised going to public places because I had not the courage to meet the glance of men who didn't spare a chance to look me from head to toe. In Pakistan, it is not common for girls to go out in streets. Hence, a girl moving in the reet has to face the inquisitive and hard-hitting glances. Very often they have to face the eve teasing and cat-calling as well.

Here, I would like to be honest. I didn't always want to go out for accomplishing some essential task. Very often I wanted to take leisure strolls on the roads and sit on the benches in the park just to contemplate on my life, or to amuse myself from the sight of setting sun. But, I felt that being girl it was not simply possible for me. Because in countries like Pakistan there was no way for the girls to roam the streets to breathe the fresh air or to sit in the parks alone. Even, if someone dares to go out alone, there will always be a chance to meet the eve teasers. It is not because Pakistanis don't respect female gender. It is because they don't acknowledge the right of a woman to share the public place. In fact, they think women to be suitable only for staying in the home unless she has to go to school, college, office or market.

I realized that if I want to tell men of my country that women can share the public places too then I need to tell them about gender equality. I need to tell them that a woman can have a desire to walk on the footpath without her being a call girl. I want to tell them that an alone woman can wish to sit on the tea stall and sip steaming tea from the cup while reading her favorite book. I want to tell them that a woman can want to travel the world alone and on her own.

So I was a Pakistani whose parents never scolded her and treated her like a princess, but she still became feminist because her privileged status at the home was not preparing her well for a life in streets and public places of a country that doesn't believe in women giving too much freedom.

Yes, I became a feminist because I think that men and women both are equal and both have the right to live life on their own terms without pressure of performing according to the gender roles.

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The situation is similar in India if not worse when It comes to small/tier III cities
But nevertheless people are changing,the new generation is readily accepting/acknowledging Gender equality in the society.

Problem is that when we talk about gender equality in its true sense we still have to go a long way, even in western societies. Just take the example of gender pay gap in big corporations.

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