I spent the larger part of my 20's drinking alcohol and going through bouts of what could clinically be classified as alcoholism. I never drank in high school but when I started school at the University of Florida, it was everywhere and became an easy way to fit in. Looking back, it helped ease a lot of the nervousness that accompanied being an introvert in an increasingly extraverted environment.
My roommate started to encourage us to drink until we got drunk and we all began to binge drink regularly. I remember throwing up many times from intoxication over those 4 years. Heavy drinking as a habit continued past college and became a part of my social life and the life of my closest friends.
It almost became a competition at times - who could make a bigger ass of themselves. (I still see this dynamic being played out on various streetcorners all over the world on any given Friday night).
Then something completely unexpected - and seemingly unrelated - happened.
In 2014 I flew to San Francisco to attend a men's weekend put on by a company called One Taste. One Taste is the organization that has helped popularize a practice called "orgasmic meditation" - or OM for short - which is a 15 minute partnered practice of gently stroking a woman's clitoris.
During this weekend of deep self-exploration, I had a single 15 minute OM session with one of their longest practitioners. I didn't even feel like I was "doing it right" but something in me changed from that experience.
I remember going to dinner with my friend afterwards at a Chinese restaurant, and noticing that I was feeling different.
I was beginning to feel. To feel and sense the world around me. I didn't even want meat.
"I think drinking is on its way out,"
I casually told him at some point during that dinner.
And that began the unraveling of my long history with alcohol. Over the coming months, I started to drink less and less and naturally lost my taste for and interest in beer and whiskey and every type of intoxicant.
It has now been years since I drank anything and have no genuine desire to do so. It would be like if I asked you if you wanted to drink antifreeze coolant. There's just an awareness now of how it feels in my body, how it checks me out of the present moment, and how it dries out my body.
Last year I heard my shaman talk about how alcohol always puts you in a lower vibration state, (which is my experience as well) so there's now an extra spiritual dimension to my non-consumption. I no longer put myself in environments where it's even other people who are drinking. They always seem checked out, or possessed and are much more prone to violence - even if it's in their attitude or speech.
I know a lot of people struggle with alcohol. Even my dad died of alcoholism. People go to AA, fall off, and come back, etc. I never in my previous life thought it could be as easy and effortless as it is now. I didn't even think it was possible. I always thought I'd want it.
This has been my experience. And I hesitate to even recommend orgasm as a way to stop drinking. It became a side effect for me. The best I could offer is go do something for yourself that puts you in touch with your own feelings. Maybe it is orgasmic meditation. Maybe it's yoga. If you go deep enough and really get to feel what things start to feel like in your body, maybe one day you'll join me and agree - alcohol simply feels terrible - during and after drinking.
So choose life. Choose feeling. Choose something that may end up unraveling long held addictions, alcohol or otherwise. It may end up being a lot simpler than you think.
To your health. xo
Brilliant post - thanks!