It's funny, when I love something or someone most times it feels like I can just explode into a million little pieces because I'm so full of hope and simultaneously trying to figure out how not to grasp and hold on to tightly to anything and everything around me.
So I love everything and everyone and I try to keep my hands by my sides and it makes me sad because I haven't quite learnt yet how to deal with the surge of simultaneous joy and terror that what I'm looking at is what's opening my heart and I know how its power in the past has left me feeling empty when it's gone.
So I spent the rest of the day curled up on my deck, listening to the same song on repeat, staring at the trees, my breath shallow and my body shaking from feeling like maybe I'm just not strong enough to handle this world. But as much as I allow myself to feel everything, all the time, I don't believe that this is where it stops.
This is where it starts.
So I got up, packed my bags, and headed out to get some work done. Drink some coffee. And get offered a half of a chocolate chip cookie from a stranger. Life is on the other side of all this fear I feel. And no matter how scared or uncertain I become, it's moments like these that remind me, it's time to get up and create and be everything I think isn't good enough about myself. That's where I want to exist. Being and doing despite the uncertainty. Being and doing despite the uncertainty.
Some days its harder than others, but ya, we gotta get out there and give life the opportunity to happen. Often, good things do happen!
IG is not good for me because I cant DM due to not having a cellphone, will you add me on FB so we can DM? Eric F Na :)