The other day, my neighbors' wife hit my truck and crunched my tail-light. She had no drivers' license. They have insurance, but I also know that my neighbor just lost his job. They are screwing-up. They're on drugs, fighting, etc. They have 2 kids. I've taken them both to the weekly 12-step meeting that I've been attending for the last couple of years. I had hoped they would start to make progress in regards to their addictions, but it's slow-going. They're making some stupid decisions.
Normally, my reaction to something like this would be out of anger. I'd call the cops, etc. But, having been the maker of stupid decisions in my own past, and having worked very hard to get a better handle on my feelings and behaviors around anger over the last 20 years, my reaction was different this time.
I try to place a very high value on people, life, and relationships - above my own self interest. After assessing the situation, getting their insurance info., and talking to them - I decided to let them figure out a way to fix it themselves, without getting insurance or police invloved. Even though I had every right to do so, I really wasn't too worried about my truck. It's a 1991, it's old, and it's a tank. If they don't fix it, I can do the body-work myself and replace the tail-light assembly for $21. (In case you did not know, 3D printers are changing the auto-parts business: you can now buy headlight and tail-lights assemblies for around $15 - $35, plus shipping. They used to cost upwards of $100 - $200.)
The thought that came to my mind in this situation was this: "It's just stuff - it's not important. People are important." Getting worked up and angry over it doesn't change anything. Insurance notification would probably just raise both of our insurance costs. So, what's the big deal? A little bit of time and a few bucks. The upside is this: I am a different person than I used to be.
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We all just need to de-escalate, in all aspects, and take count of what's really important in our lives. Your post points out that we also have to remember... there's another story and viewpoint from the other side.
We need more people like you !! I too agree people are important ...not stuff! You sound like an awesome person..sending happun5and positive vibes your way :) :).kayleigh
Yeah, just dust it off. Good job keeping the old ford in service.
Throughout my life, I've always heard older guys say, "Man, I wish I had kept my first car! It would be such a classic and worth so much money today!" I feel this way about this truck - because it's one of the last years "average joes" will still be able to work on their cars. It's not yet filled with computerized components that are proprietary, which nobody but the dealer or an authorized technician can repair. I think I'll try and keep it and restore it over the long haul. It will cost a lot of money - but so will a newer car.
I can dig it.
Wise! Good on you. I wish more people acted in this way.
You must be a really good dad. The world will be a better place if there's more like you who cares people more than material things.
I've always been of the opinion that possessions are just useless stuff and nit really worth fighting or getting mad about.. they can be replaced.. when I got divorced three was no fighting over stuff.. I just let her have it all.. less drama that way.
@tippy vote
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The reality of your decision is that the Insurance would raise both of your insurance costs and you can't get blood money from a stone (your loser neighbour) that's why you didn't call but I'm sure your a swell guy as you stated in your post. :)
I'm sure an auto-body repair shop would have quoted the repair costs somewhere around $400, give or take a bit. The point was not so much the money as my reaction to the event. I would have easily lost my cool a few years ago over this. It is better to come to different conclusions now - not turn it into a catastrophe. I see people turn things in their lives into one crisis after another - and they make themselves miserable by thinking that way. I'm just saying, there are better ways to think and be.
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