Oh @sudev, this is such a vulnerable and lovely piece. Thank you for sharing your self discovery with us. I especially find these words so very powerful
I think as men, particularly in India, we are not even aware how we block our feelings or fail to understand them, lashing out instead at those who try to help us. But some of these feelings are so strong, they force their way through and rip into the open like an uncontrollable wildfire. If we have not trained ourselves to control this energy, it causes substantial damage to us and those close to us. This is precisely what happened with me.
It seems that this may be a common experience of many men throughout the world. Some are waking up to other ways of being - like you - others are digging in and creating more anger and violence as they struggle to make sense of the changing climate. I believe the feminine energy in all of us is rising back to create balance in our world. We are all masculine and feminine, and your words provide a beautifully painful example of how to be a healthy male role model by taking a look at feelings, thoughts and actions. I am deeply sympathetic to your pain. I hope that you are able to find the gift of this deep new thinking that came about because of the trauma. Grace works in ways we sometimes wish it wouldn't, but we sometimes need a disaster in order to create lasting change. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. May your path through the pain result in a beautiful new you. 🌱
Thank you. :)