I had the week from hell this week. A perfect storm happened in work and it is all because of smoke vents that are on the glazing on a glass roof top in the property I manage. To hide these ugly looking smoke vents the posh architects at the time decided that they would use these decorative boats 40 foot high in the air and about 70 ft in length. They are huge and they block out the smoke vents. I must admit they are very nice. Nice and white and modern looking. The Shopping Centre was the last shopping centre to be built in Ireland, in the 90's and it was built during the Celtic Tiger when we were all dripping with wealth . It was the Irish version of the gold rush. Even the Jack Russell had 2 properties and a summer apt in Bulgaria.
Smoke Vents:
The smoke vents are designed to open when there is a fire obviously so they are a legal requirement for them in a building this large. Fine I have no problem with that. We have these vents controls on the BMS system (Building Management System). A high end system that lets the management company control everything from a chair in an office. From lights to air curtains , to boilers to HVAC. You name it , it is on the system. The 18 X high level smoke vents that each measure around 5ft x 5ft each open when the weather is warm acting as a natural vent. There is also a rain sensor that closes the vents when it rains. Happy days.
The rain sensor is important because if the power goes out , the fire alarm activates and the smoke vents open. If the Centre is closed at night and there is a storm and the power goes off, what happens only the smoke vents open and the vents close again. Phew. All good.
Now a. perfect thing happened the other day. The rain sensor was faulty and it stayed on even when it stopped raining. Grand. The vents were closed. Big deal. But then the unthinkable happened, we got a power cut. We rarely get power cuts which was strange and this signaled a fire alarm and loan behold the bloody vents opened. Not to worry we will shut them closed. When we tried to shut them down the rain sensor was on so it wouldn't let us close the vents and then the even more unthinkable happened, it started raining. A perfect storm of events had just happened in the blink of an eye and the system had failed us. So when a system fails on the BMS there should be a manual shutoff valve or button that you push to override this system but nope this was not the case. So panic stations did indeed set firmly in when we realised that we were in big trouble here.
There must be some way to manually close these vents or water will be streaming in on these decorative boats made of plaster board effectively ruining them to water damage. Worse case they would actually break So off I went with a screw driver and a spanner and a load of 2 x 4's . I scaled the roof and the scary thing is you have to walk along the beams between the safety glass which are about 4 inches in width. Being 50ft standing on a glass roof used to scare me but I am well used to it now. My dad always told me from his time in London on building sites that you get used to heights and I agree with him. I am now up and down a hoist looking at buildings now and I don't mind it but the first time I did it was scary. Anyway I saw that each smoke vent has this spring you could unscrew. When you unscrew it the vents pop open so you have to put some weight on them to close manually. I spent the day in the rain doing it drenched to the skin. Saving the building from being waterlogged. All because of a stupid rain sensor. I had rang the electrician before my manual task because he needed to source a new rain sensor of the same make so while I waited for the contractor I shut as many as I could. A downpour came and I had most of them done. I have never been so wet in my life.
I like my job and I like my bosses who own these properties and I do try to protect their assets as much as I can because they are good to me so if there is something I can do to stop something from being wrecked then I will do everything in my power sort it out. I couldn't care less if it is pissing rain and my clothes are ruined. I think I learned this from an old boss of mine who had us clearing gutters in our suits when there was a major leak downstairs. He got a few of us up to help out and he purchased us new suits and gave us a few pound extra for the ones that went up to save the day. I have that old school attitude to work. Keep the boss happy. Nowadays people do not care about their work but I hold mine in very high regard and maybe I put it before other things which i shouldn't but on saying that my family don't want for anything and I am always around which is a win win.
Sometimes when I am getting soaked like the soaking I got on the roof , it makes me feel more alive. I always smile in the rain for some reason. Getting wet makes me laugh. I remember one night I was walking home from work on a terrible night of rain and a car drove into a puddle to splash me with a giant wave. I got the shock of my life but I was in hysterics laughing that some geezer had splashed me and he was probably laughing as well. Being wet does not bother me once there is a hot shower at the end of it. So when the electrician arrived and sorted out the sensor I could have kissed him. Another crisis averted. Oh an now there is an orange rain warning for tonight in my area. Lovely Jubbly. If the phone rings I may get my rain gear.
The boats would help if the rain kept coming in, if only they were actual boats. Are you sure they weren't misguided church-goers who thought they were building the Ark, instead of a humble place of commerce?
I did find the carcusses of two giraffes in the boats but I failed to put 2 + 2 together. I suspect whoever started this project gave up mid giraffe hoist
Sounds like a nightmare!
it was not fun. I now have a cold.
What is it that possesses architects to hang boats off ceilings? I was a finish carpenter on a home with a perfectly good canoe hanging from the ceiling. Boats are supposed to go in water, and it just doesn't make sense that so many architects have mutually decided that boats should be hung off ceilings instead.
It's a mystery.
Thanks!
It is indeed a mystery and these boats are terrible with any kind of water ingress . If they did been designed for their purpose then I wouldn’t have a problem. Maybe I’d have to fend off some Russian guy with raw pork fat but I’d take my chances in this case.