My Google search history represents a living document that resembles a diary shared between myself and Alphabet Inc. I’m not ashamed but slightly embarrassed. I’ve found myself in long-winded conversations with Google on the most intimate of topics, luckily our connection is pretty good. Kind of like the relationship I was in, all-in-all, it was pretty good. Does that sound like a problem to anyone? See, I didn’t really have to ask Google anything because I already knew the answer to my questions. What I really wanted from the compassionate tech giant was the confirmation of my feelings. The good news is, they’ll tell you anything you want to hear. The bad news is, they’ll tell you anything you want to hear. So without further ado, here are 10 reasons to hit the single lane highway past Google to Splitsville.
The 3 A's - Abuse, addition and affairs. All joking aside these three issues can be deal breakers in a hurry or you can find yourself in a long-term relationships hoping for changed behavior. Its difficult to change people and nobody would pass judgement for walking/sprinting away from the 3 A's.
Misaligned values - Sometimes the best relationships come to an early end for very legitimate reasons. Issues like marriage, having children, faith and relocation desires can be tough obstacles to work around. Flexibility is one thing but altering values is another. These endings can be painful but it's also safe to say that it wasn't meant to be.
Wondering eyes – I was enjoying a really nice date. We enjoyed conversation over a couple of drinks and appetizers. The only problem was I couldn’t take my eyes off the woman across the bar from me. This issue can arise on first dates or after 25 years marriage. It's one thing to look and appreciate an attractive perrson but If your interest is in other people it’s not fair to your relationship partner. I’d say skip that second date, however, for a marriage or long term relationship consider counseling before ripping that band-aid off.
You’d rather be kissing a stone – That might sound a bit brash but if you honestly are struggling to show affection imagine how your relationship partner is feeling. Chemistry and affection is essential and it’s what keeps that fire burning. With that said, there are plenty of ways to spice it up but requires some open conversation and perhaps an article for a different day.
Time together feels like an inconvenience – If you’d rather being doing anything else than spending time with your significant other you might have to ask yourself why you're in a relationship. Relationships require time together and not because you have to but because you want to. It could be that you just enjoy being single, want to date others or you aren't attracted any longer. All your reasons are valid but straining to stay in will only punish yourself.
Pet peeves and annoyances - Nobody is perfect. However, if you're in a newer relationship and your partner's behavior is driving you crazy, multiply that by 5 or 10 years and you might be legally insane! Maybe your partner is messy, doesn't flush the toilet, interrupts, flirts too much, needs constant texts or communication. The list is long and unique to each person but these problems can be deal breakers in the long term.
Afraid to hurt someone - This one is kind of a catch all because any number of reason could be creating that feeling of wanting to exit the relationship. If you know that person is wild about and will be devastated it can be hard to bring yourself to say goodbye. The truth is, most people really want to be with someone who really wants them. Yes, it will hurt but they will be okay in time. Don't underestimate the possibility that you also could be hurting despite it being the right decision.
Insecurity - Sometimes flirtatious behavior or friends of the opposite sex can create some insecurities. However, trust is something that really should be broken before feeling insecure. So, do you really have a reason to feel insecure? If not, try to let things go and enjoy time together. If the pit in your stomach is growing and the stress of insecurity is becoming too much, consider talking to your partner about it and if that doesn't work it might be time to step back.
Not running toward it - I dated a person for 6 months and in many ways we really clicked. We enjoyed fitness, traveling and night life. Our values matched up and we enjoyed each others company. The problem was we were really good friend and I couldn't bring myself to say I love you and I wasn't sure I ever would. It might be lust or it might be love but if your not running toward it you may as well be running away.
Sex drives - Have you heard that song called, Love Potion No. 9? Well, it's not available by prescription and if you're day dreaming about night things you better hope your partner is too! This is something that isn't always present right away but sometimes can show up over time. There is probably a work around but it's so much better when these stars align.
What are some of your deal breakers?