@rok-sivante, In all these process i really liked the last analysis where you are thinking all your tough situations as an Process Of Development and Process Of Transition.
And for sure, sometimes it's really important to showcase our emotions and specially in writing form, that's why many people hold the habit of Dairy Writing. And you've thrown out your emotions and in my opinion you've done right.
Obstacles, failures, problems and Phase Of Adversity all are part of life process and it will increase with the increase in the Overthinking process, past is past and now whatever opportunities you hold just put your complete consciousness into it and make it your success and reality.
And sometimes we take the wrong decisions but at the end of the day it's our decisions and our consciousness chose that phase to enter in an new segment and process to find the new Expansions further.
Brother, at last i want to say one thing and that is, no matter what the situation is, don't hold the negative thoughts, just continue with the Optimism because as we know that we are creators. So always good luck.
Wishing you an great day and stay blessed.