... but does it though? I have a complicated relationship with this sentiment. It mostly feels like a thing that well- meaning people say when something beyond the scope of our control, goes awry.
A month ago, my boyfriend and I were supposed to step into new lives as Peace Corps volunteers in Zambia, Africa. My boyfriend broke his collar bone two weeks before departure, and the Peace Corps cancelled our two year trip with a two line email. We had broken our lease, sold our furniture, and quit our jobs. We attended bittersweet farewell parties and made peace with the prospect of extended isolation. Now what?
It was a surreal, bizarre experience. I lost sight of which way was up, and became disoriented in my old life. I ceased to recognize my place among people and places I knew well. By far, the most consistent tidbit of wisdom I received was, "everything happens for a reason". In the early days, it actually made me angry. I wasn't ready to even consider whether there was a grand purpose behind all of this. I didn't want to hear it, as it felt like a trite attempt to tint my experience with rose- colored glasses. As if I was supposed to smile and serenely seek out a message from the universe.
I still disagree with the idea that things happen for reasons. I am against saying it to people who are in negative, uncontrollable circumstances. For one, it is so overused as to be entirely meaningless: an awkward, knee jerk reaction to someone else's pain. As a society, we struggle to speak bluntly about hardship. We are fans of the platitude, the cliche, and the bandaid solution. Holding space for suffering is a powerful thing to do for our fellow human beings. In the days after the Peace Corps' decision, I felt most supported by the people who let me feel without expecting anything of my response. They let it be as bad as I confided, no more and no less.
Our universe is governed by entropy and chaos reigns supreme. Randomness is an inherit byproduct, and sometimes bad things just happen. And it fucking sucks when they do, and it's okay to accept it. I believe that we create the "reason" in our responses. We are resilient individuals who do what it takes to rise from the ashes. I'll never know what would have happened if we had gone to Zambia, but I do know what good things have come from being stateside still. And maybe it's because I was raised by a couple Grateful Deadhead hippies, but I believe that it is me who will make the meaning of my life.
Maybe you need to persevere through all that and get stronger.
Maybe that's the reason why everything happens it somethings atleast.
This world is arranged in a certain way, and there are Higher Laws by which everything that happens is subject. Ignorance, misunderstanding or rejection of these laws does not nullify them.
We can say that Life is built on the principle of a school where we have to learn wisdom: to know the laws of life and live in accordance with them to enjoy every moment of life.
We live in a closed system in which all its parts are closely interconnected with each other and have mutual influence, so nothing is accidental, and nothing goes without a trace. What you emit is what you get.
As you sow, so shall you reap. All that comes back to you is what you do to others.
Folk wisdom. The Golden rule – "do not do to others what you do not wish for yourself" - is built on the understanding of this.
Why is it hard to understand? Because life here has a duration (time, inertia) and "bestowal" does not come immediately.
When you launch a boomerang, it needs time to fly away, reach the end point and come back; and while it's flying, other boomerangs launched before are coming back to you. As mind (in most cases) can't notice this cause-and-effect relationship, there is no understanding that nothing happens by chance.
Everything is interconnected and natural.
You need to understand that problem happening to us is not a punishment from God (Higher powers, etc.), as a result of a breach by us of these Divine laws.
In other words, I was the cause of the trouble myself.
As sure as the sun will come up tomorrow shit will happen . No reason or rhyme to it , it just does . All you have to do is figure it out .
There you go !
I know it may seem hard right now, that all seems like it was terrible and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. But that saying, "when one door closes, hundreds open" is true. It may not seem like it immediately but there is no doubt in my mind when you look back at this time a year from now or two years from now you will understand why things happened the way they did.
Keep that chin up and try to look at the bright-side of things, whatever they may be! I hope I can speak for the Steemit community when I say, we are here for you and if you need to vent or need anything else, use us!
I wish you all the luck on your next journey and I hope you make the best of it! :) Keep us all updated on how it goes! We are rooting for you!
Feel.
That's what I do and what I openly encourage.
Feel angry. Feel hurt. Feel fucked. Feel discouraged. Feel overwhelmed. Feel lost.
I am currently waiting for results on a cancer marker test. I already have MS. I just couldn't even believe it when they told me they now suspect I might have cancer too. I have spoken to people that offer me meaningless platitudes and it just makes me even more angry. There are some situations in which "everything happens for a reason" is not only ridiculous but entirely inappropriate.
This event turned your life upside down and it's A-OK to feel however the hell you want about it!
I really needed to read this tonight. Thank you.
@danigirl Very nice place .. the waterfall was very natural