Do you ever feel like you don't know what you feel? Like you just have a blockage somewhere and you wish something could come along and clear out the pipes of your soul?
I don't know if I have ever used the term "emotional constipation" on this site, but it is a phrase which occasionally pops into my brain. This constipation frequently occurs when I have nothing to worry about.
Anxiety is like fiber in that it really pushes all that emotional crap out into the world. It's an extroverted emotion that wants to display itself and be the center of attention.
Peace on the other hand... Peace just likes to be. When I am at peace I tend to hole up and be insulated. I need no one to share with, no one to dump on. When life is stress free, nothing moves.
Stillness can be great, don't get me wrong. But my natural inclinations are towards worry, so when nothing is moving I feel like a marble on a tabletop. I just roll wherever I am tilted.
This leads to conflict, I don't know what I am feeling. Am I at peace? Am I secretly anxious? What should I be? Then I get meta-feelings about my feelings. Or non-feelings. Whichever happen to be occurring at the moment. Then I get all clogged up, not knowing which way to go.
How do I solve this blockage? Simple: stress. Writing, reading, sex, painting, singing, praying, a walk, running, weight lifting, forcing myself to do something intense, anything which puts a load on my body or my mind to the point where it just can't hold anymore.
Some people need peace and quiet. I need a challenge.
I really resonate with this post.
It sounds to me like you're bored and you need an outlet, but not just any outlet, an outlet that will light you up, something you love and are passionate about, something that gets you excited.
This is my observation from reading your post and experiencing this exact feeling myself. I am one that gets bored easy and it took me along time to identify what I needed, in the beginning I didn't know what is was.
But I've put major focus on identifying what really lights me up, that sets my soul on fire. It has made a big difference.
Try asking yourself the question; How do I want to feel? (it will point you in the right direction) :)
You might be on to something :)
I don't know if it is boredom so much for me as it is anxiety. If i am not occupied I can go some very dark places in my mind. It's never fun :(
Me too. I have had some pretty severe anxiety over the years, (still do at times) and I've noticed when I'm not occupied, is when its worse or when I have time to let the momentum build.
I use to quickly reach for distraction, any kind of distraction, but I realized it was more effective when I chose things that lit me up and I got excited about, it seems to shift my whole frequency.
I'm one of those people that always has to have something to look forward to.
It's a mystery trying to figure ourselves out..lol
I have a hard time getting excited about anything. I'm working on it :)
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