My first post on the subject: https://steemit.com/life/@drwillwho/steemit-an-old-white-man-s-classroom-for-gaining-wisdom-in-diversity-i-m-at-my-desk-teach-me simply offered the opinion that Steemit, with it's world wide reach, should be a fantastic classroom for getting varied opinions, hopefully directly from those who are most affected by diversity issues.
My second thoughts on cultural appropriation is found at: https://steemit.com/life/@drwillwho/steemit-a-classroom-for-gaining-wisdom-in-diversity-i-m-at-my-desk-teach-me-is-it-appropriation-or-is-it-flattery
(An image of a NC CAP unit marching in a parade... this is not us, but we are CAP)
And while I'd still love input on the idea of appropriation, I had a personal experience, or rather my daughter did, this weekend at a Christmas parade.
We marched as part of the local Civil Air Patrol. We had cadets carrying flags and rifles at the front, and then a squadron of cadets in uniform marching behind them in their uniforms. Us old folk followed and tried to keep up and keep in step.
The cadets were amazing, presenting a professional image of young community and state volunteers and my daughter, who is the commander of our squadron, called cadence to help keep everyone unified. Things went perfectly... despite the cold.
A Junior ROTC group from the local High School got tapped to carry the colors for the whole parade, so they had the first slot. We couldn't see them from our position, but I imagine they did great. Another group with similar goals in providing leadership training for America's youth.
(stock photo)
Their color guard finished the parade, and moved off to the side to let vehicles and floats move off into the parking lot and we turned in and marched up the little hill, and this group of young JROTC cadets were laughing and one of them said "There's a black one!"
Now, my daughter is strong, spirited, poised, very dark with natural hair, and seemed to just let it roll off her back... but WTF! What is that even supposed to mean? "There's a black one." If they were picking on the Civil Air Patrol as a competitive group... what does having black cadets have to do with it. Are they implying that the presence of diversity somehow makes us worse? I happen to know they have black JROTC cadets in their own unit, although none were around, so is this just some embedded prejudice? It disheartened me because I expect adults might still live with the lies that were perpetuated during their youth... but to see young people, who are living in an increasingly diverse world being taught these bigoted behaviors and spreading them is tragic.
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(From the Huffington Post)
I feel that we've come a long way as a nation, and I hope we're still making progress. As more and more people share space with people of different backgrounds, it should become clear that things like ethnic background, gender, gender orientation, religious orientation, and other labels that we're quick to segregate people by are not at all a reflection of the person. We have people who look just like us who think and behave very differently and people who look or live differently who think and behave just like us. It really is the epitome of ignorance to think that these traits are somehow affecting the soul of the individual, but yet people still treat others with scorn or contempt.
So many questions. Why did these kids think that was funny, and even more that they needed to announce it where she could hear it? Are they mean? Evil? Suffering from low self esteem where they need to detract from others since they don't feel good about themselves?
What do I do about it? Should I accost a group of strange teenagers for their stupid comment? Should I report it to someone? Or should I just continue to love and pour into my children, teaching them that idiots do and will continue to exist? Is there truth in "Sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you?" Words do hurt, and can cause unseen scars, but in regard to how to respond to the offense.... what is the best course of action?
I knew that our nation was degenerate and wicked when I adopted my girls, but I have zero regrets and they are 100% my children... just with better genetics than I would have given them. I want them to be capable of dealing with wickedness when confronted with it, and am not clear on what the healthy response should be. I have not been supportive of safety pins and stressing about micro-aggressions. I want them to not be affected by someone else's defect. I would support them if they fought back, but don't know that promoting fighting is effective. I want them to have enough self confidence that when they meet these POS individuals, they look at them with pity and aren't affected by their hate.
I really am not clear on what is best. Would love to hear stories or advice. I know this is a relatively mild issue compared to some of the much more aggressive racism, sexism, etc... that people have endured. I just want it to end, and for that to happen, I believe that zero tolerance is the direction we need to pursue.
This is a heartbreaking incident. While racist actions take many different forms, coupling this sort of incident with daily microaggressions we people of color experience means it is what every other racist incident is: awful. Painful. Hateful.
I like your goal of having your daughter grow up with compassion versus hate. Pity requires compassion. It is not her job to educate anyone, and it is not her job to forgive anyone, but it does help to know she is not alone and there are others in this world who live higher.
What I mean to say is: keeping her chin up is a real goal. The high road is important.
We do need to pursue zero tolerance. Have you looked at resources for how to speak up? Or talked with her group about ways they are a team, and how silence is violence?
No judgment here. Just asking questions. I am so sorry this has happened. We all deserve better.
Thank you for your kind and insightful response. There are things all 6 of my African and African American daughters know. 1) Daddy loves you to the end of the universe 2) Daddy will protect you from all harm to the best of his ability forever. 3) Daddy is not afraid to die in prison. 4) You are beautiful and special and chosen... I... Chose... You... no mistake, no random shuffling of genetic material. You were chosen because you make me and my family better. 5) No one has an excuse to hurt or belittle you for any reason, whether the beautiful color of your skin, the kink to your hair, or the gender you were gifted with. Those who make you cry... will be visited with their own tears. I want them to always know that they are safe... not just because of me, but because their brothers cherish them, my family cherishes them, my friends cherish them. Many of these people have had little interaction with people of color before the introduction to my family, and all are on board 100%. But you and your mentor have revealed to me the importance of writing to the white eye... I have taken that deeper to living to the white mind. I want them to live in a world where their exterior is simply the sausage casing for their beauty within. I want them to be intelligent and sexy and successful and fun and loving and kind and generous... all traits of no specific race.... These are qualities of all peoples. I truly look for encouragement, chastisment, and wisdom from people of all backgrounds to help me not raise "white" children. Not even my biologic children should be "white." They should be people. Citizens. Passionate and generous and sacrificial and servant minded and helpful.... I am blessed to have you, @shawnamawna helping me. I definitely need it!
Your intentions for your children are so beautiful. Yes, we should all learn to supercede our casings as well as celebrate them as an indelible aspect of our human gifts.
Loving your children regardless of what society tells them is invaluable. Letting them know they are beautiful and perfect as they are is an irreplaceable love. It is exquisitely important to recognize there are dofferences which will affect our experience, but ultimatel it cones back to the heart. What do we choose to do with our experiences?
Being a proactive voice for change (as you are saying about not fearing jail), is essential and powerful. That begins with not shying around from labeling injustice as injustice in the moment.
You are a powerful love engine, I believe. You are not only working for the generation(s) you are raising, but you are working for yourself and the future world of your children. It’s a tough path, but it only becomes clearer, and you will continue to find tribe members along the way.
So grateful to know you here.
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