missed it — Hive

so as you all know, i pick up random shit off hard rubbish piles.
yesterday i found a diamondback mountain bike, came home.
grabbed my trolley, filled it with cans and bottles, and head down to the recycling centre. only to find the gate was locked. so i had a little mental breakdown, and was laughed at by some guy in his car.
wow.
people are shit these days.
something told me to check the gate. there was a sign.
use next gate ( about 1/4 mile away )
found a gap in the fence instead, broke down my buggy, climbed through. done the work. $19

on way home, i head past the pile i found the bike on. there was a tv. 42"
plasma
ooh ( ihave 2 32" 's, and they are OLD)

knocked on the ladies door, as it was heavy, and no point dragging it home, if it doesnt work.
"has no remote, and there's a faint line through the centre"
sweet.
mentioned i did this (hive) and wrote down some data
basically ecency.com
my mobile number, my facebook name
and worked out what i was going to say

in my head it was blah blah blah, and this isnt me trying to get into your pants.
when the time came to say the thing, i got all that out.
if i'd had MORE confidence, id have added
'... not that i dont want to get into them, as, fwoar, they look comfortable. very snug... if you know what i mean'

i was also a little thrown back by her arriving at the door, with a phallic type object, explaining how it needed to be put in a dark spot, and eaten as soon as its ready
my inner child giggled like an idiot, and i missed half the istructions, as the description seemed full of entendre's

then it dawned on me last night while i was asleep.
had i, in my attempts to word it in a way to not appear to be a skeeze, missed the fact that she was flirting with me, and i actually stood a chance?

and now, if i mention tht thing, do i look like a fool?
i dont know.
im totally oblivious to flirtation
im not 'pretty' so i dont ... i dunno, i cant word it.
im confident, i just.. was never taught how to date.

does anyone care that i was gelatto licking winner 4 years in a row before the covid lockdowns?
that i havea massage table, and skills?