Life

in #life7 years ago (edited)

Tonight I am struggling with some mom guilt. My son has taekwondo twice a week. My fiance and I alternate days, so that we can each have some alone time during the week. Tonight is my fiance's night. I am so grateful to him for giving me the opportunity to have alone time.
Anyway, tonight my son got sad and said he wanted us both to go, like we used to. It broke my heart. It took everything in me not to stand up and go with them. I didn't though. Logically, I know this is okay. I know that I'm putting myself first, which is what needs to be done, but it is so damn hard. I don't have to go to every single little thing. I am there for him every single day. He knows that.
Why am I struggling then? I don't know if I'm writing this to convince myself that it was okay not to go. Or if I'm writing it in hopes of getting validation. I know he's my world. He knows he's my world, but he ALSO needs to know that I'm MY world too. I'm not trying to raise a kid who thinks the world revolves around him and everybody should drop everything for him, all the time.
I know it disappoints him when we both don't go, but he'll be okay. It's okay to be disappointed. It teaches him how to cope.