By now you probably know that the 'New Year, New Me' thing is pretty much nothing but BS, but have you ever wondered why that is the case?
I'm sure most of you have seen the picture below. I see it every end of December.
And I'm sure most of you agree with what the picture implies, which is something like "people never really change, they're only hypocrites, they'll come back to their old ways by the end of January, etc".
But why is that the case in the first place? Why do people eventually come back to their old ways?
First of all, I must state that I am not a neuroscientist or psychotherapist, so don't take my word as written in stone. However, I am a NLP practitioner and have always been passionate about the personal development field. Here are a few reasons why I think people fail to achieve big goals or change their lifestyle:
1. They don't think in advance about what the road to achievement implies. If you want to lose weight you will have to change your diet which implies eating food you were not used to in the past, and give up on some food that your brain was used to and felt pleasure while eating. That is uncomfortable. You will also have to exercise and that requires a very disciplined and methodical approach. If you weren't used to it, your brain WILL RESIST it.
2. Unrealistic deadlines of their goals. Most people want quick results and I have personally been "guilty" of this mistake in the past. Obviously, we want the shortcuts, because we don't want to put much effort in, but unfortunately most things require a lot of work and dedication.
I've seen many people getting discouraged when hearing that achieving a specific goal (ie. setting up a successful business, learning to play an instrument, learning a foreign language, etc) could take up to 2-3 years. The problem is that whether you start working on it or not, time will pass anyway...
3. They overestimate their abilities. I think many of us have been there. "I managed to swim 100m in the pool, I'll go to the triathlon now. I can sing 3 chords on the guitar, I can write songs now, etc". Great goals require great skills as well, so don't overestimate yourself.
4. Procrastination. Why wait for the new year? Are you not convinced or not motivated enough? Why not starting now? When you create a habit of doing things NOW, you will also act on opportunities when they arise. Many of us miss opportunities when they knock on our doors simply because we are just not used to act immediately.
5. They focus on the goal itself more than on the process. Every journey of 1000 steps starts with one step...and then you have 999 more to do. Focus on what it is that you need to do, what skills you need, what information. Break you goal into little objectives, read, get feedback and enjoy the ride.
6. They read a lot of self-help BS. Who hasn't watched The Secret or read anything by Brian Tracy or Tony Robbins? But wait, these guys are the read deal you might say.
Well, the problem is that just asking the universe, or just thinking about your goal over and over again will never get you anywhere without ACTION. You can write down you goal and read it every day, but that can only remind you of what you want to achieve, without showing you HOW to achieve it. Ask yourself how many goals have you achieved just by daydreaming. I am a big daydreamer and trust me, it didn't get me far.
Well, that's it for today. I really enjoy posting here on Steemit, so I will do my best to do it more often.
Please let me know in the comments below what your thoughts are and what kind of personal experience you have regarding setting goals and achieving them. Until next time...
Audaces fortuna iuvat
Mihai