oooh, funny you would bring up the guy that gifted me the guitar as it is a tragic story. He had a tough upbringing, basically his parents didn't care about him and he would spend a lot of time at my house because we were friends but also because he was hungry because his parents didn't even give him access to food. He didn't have many possessions but he was really good at guitar.
He didn't do well in school because just like most people whose parents have zero involvement in their lives he felt no pressure to really be good at anything other than guitar. His tough luck continued for many years after high school even though he was a generally very well-liked person. He sadly took his own life around 10 years ago or so.
As far as playing in Thailand is concerned you could be looking at jail time but mostly what it is all about is like it is with a lot of police involvement in anything is that the police look for an opportunity to scam bribe money out of you and the club owner who hired you to play in the first place. For the guitar player in my band that did get put in jail (just for the night) it ended up costing him close to $1000 to make the charges go away. The club owner was charged about the same. It was a very strange negotiation that should result in police getting jail-time but that is just not how the legal system works over in that country.
Ah, man. That is fucking awful to hear about that guy. Some people truly do not deserve to be parents, I don't get how people can even get to be like that with their own child. Having such a bad start to life like that when you're young really, really impacts your future in so many ways, really sad to hear but hopefully everyone who loved him is doing aight and hopefully he's resting in a better place.
I guess with laws like that in a place in a country with corruption present, none of that is very surprising to hear, lol. I've always thought the idea of busking would be fun here and there, but even in the US I don't want to have to worry about dealing with the cops in case one of them is just an overly aggressive dickhead for no reason.
One thing that really impressed me about my friend was that he had next to nothing, didn't even have much in the way of clothes and repeated the same outfits over and over again. I guess that is what happens when your parents don't even buy laundry detergent. Anyway, what impressed me so much was that this guy, how had NOTHING, gave me a guitar and as you know, they are not cheap. He could have sold it but instead gave it away to me for nothing... and also patiently taught me a bit how to play.
He never asked for food when he was over, but my Mom could read the writing on the wall because she would offer me snacks and he would gobble them up like he hadn't eaten at all that day - which was likely the case. He was also very kind to both my younger siblings and they loved him as well. Honestly, I don't know of anyone that didn't really like him but after everyone did an exodus after high school, almost everyone he knew was gone. I think he probably hung out with high school students after he graduated and that only stays cool for so long. Unfortunately life isn't really like the "all right all right all right" character played by Matthew Mcougnehey or however you spell his name.
It saddens me because just about a month or so before he took his own life he contacted me on Facebook and we talked a bit and I think I accidentally made him very jealous of my success in life. I didn't feel like I was bragging but at the same time he was just working some shitty job at a restaurant in the kitchen for slightly over min wage, and I was on the other side of the planet doing rockstar work and really enjoying life. I didn't rub it in but the last time we spoke he didn't mention anything about being sad. I wish he had, I would have helped. It's so tragic.
one thing that really made me upset was that I never so much as ever saw or even knew who his mother was but after he committed suicide she was all over Facebook using his account somehow in what almost seemed like self-promotion to get sympathy out of people for "her loss."
I held my tongue as did almost everyone else but someone called her out about how she was to blame for this because she was a terrible parent... that comment ended up deleted but before that it got a lot of "likes" because we all know that while obviously she didn't tie the rope that he hung himself with, she certainly helped him get to that point.
As you can see I have a lot to say about this but yes, some people shouldn't be parents and I think if CPS had been aware of his situation, that they would have intervened.
I'm not saying you are or anything, but definitely don't feel at all responsible for influencing his decision from that chat. Obviously he was in a bad place, and doesn't really sound like he had any support system in place. Just fucking sucks that all his family failed him and yeah, someone should have made a report 100 percent. CPS isn't great, but it would have been something and he probably would have ended up better off.
There's not much you could have done though, man. When people are that deep in a well of despair they never think to ask for help because they feel they don't deserve it. You talking about that made me think of my buddy who hung himself a few years ago. He kind of just went unhinged for the months leading up to it, where I avoided interacting with him anymore because he just seemed so off. Randomly taking shots at mutual friends publicly out of the blue saying nasty shit. He also started posting a lot on social media about being lonely in awkward ways and many people made attempts to try to connect but he just blew it off or it never filled that gaping hole that he had I guess. Just hard to get people to crawl out of that mental space when they're spiraling.
well honestly there was a time right after it happened that of course while I didn't blame me, I always wondered what could have been if I had reached out a bit more. The thing is, he didn't seem sad in the messages we were having with one another. Now I suppose you could say that I am a bit traumatized by the whole situation and if someone contacts me that I haven't heard from in years, I worry that it might be a similar situation.
The attitude situation was similar though with my guy as the one you described. I was never really all that active in FB but I would see comments from him towards people I know he has been friends with for a long time and they were overtly aggressive to the point of revealing quite private information about them. He was always on the attack it seemed.
Anyway... he's gone. and nobody that I know that was close to him had any idea that this was incoming. What can you do?