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Everywhere in the modern society, there are agitations for the right of females. Situations like this almost make it seem like no one cares about the males at all. In situations of peril, the females are expected to be protected, while the males face the danger.
From birth, a boy is programmed to bend to the wishes of other people with the belief that they are actually his own decisions. He is thought to sacrifice everything for the people in his life.
A male child is taught to hide his emotions, no matter what he is going through. To do otherwise would make the society regard him as a sissy. When a boy gets hurt and expresses his pain, people make fun of him, telling him to be a man. He is just a little child for Christ’s sake and there is a limit as to the level of pain he can endure before bursting out. He is treated like he is supposed to be a piece of rock that is impervious to pain.
Except very few who are actually bold enough to stand up for themselves, few men ever actually live out their dreams in life. Most are forced to live out the lives they couldn’t live in their own sons and the cycle continues.
In Nigeria, a boy might nurse ambitions to be a photographer but his parents who have spent a huge amount of money sending him through school are disgusted at the idea and instead make him pursue a career of their own choosing and there is nothing he can do about it. A boy can’t nurse the ambitions of being a hairstylist without getting a tale of being told just how stupid he is for even having such a thought.
Here in Nigeria, when your parents send you to school as a boy, it is with the aim of turning you into a doctor, lawyer, engineer, pilot, accountant, banker or an architect. The day you voice out your desire to be something else, your parents will bring up a theory which either proves that you are a bastard or you were swapped for their actual child at the hospital where you were born. Of course, not everyone can pursue the careers stated above, however most of males are actually programmed to take up one of these so called “choice careers” and if they can’t, they have to pursue other careers with links to the “choice careers”.
So, you believe that males have everything handed to them on a golden platter, right? Examine the case of a hypothetical female and male. If the female doesn’t take her education seriously or if she doesn’t have a nice looking bank account statement, there is still a high chance of her getting married to some well to do man, who will have to ensure a comfortable life for her and everything goes well. On the other hand, if the male does not take his education seriously or doesn’t have a nice looking bank account statement, and is fortunate to get married to a well to do lady, the society tags such a man as a gold-digger. At this point, I begin to wonder if the burdens that have been placed on both genders are actually imposed by some supernatural force or if it we are just the one’s who have imposed such burdens upon ourselves.
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Alright, so everyone complains about domestic abuse and the main issue is always about how the men are abusing their partners. Now, in a relationship, any partner stands just as much chance of being abused as the other partner. However, all people make a fuss about is how men are abusing their wives or girlfriends. Few people ever complain about the men who are silently battling an abusive relationship. As a result of he society's expectations, few men are actually bold enough to come out and say that they are being abused by their wives or girlfriends and even the few who are bold enough to complain about the situation are mocked. This causes most men to just stay in relationships, where they are abused both physically and emotionally, until they eventually break down.
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In cases of divorce, where there is battle over child custody, reports show that in 5 out of 6 cases, the females mostly win the custody of the children. This is almost like saying that men men are bad parents. Of course, nobody addresses this, the men are just stones after all and they shouldn't complain.
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I am not trying to negate the rights of females in any way. Males in this period are definitely not enduring the agony our great grandmothers went through. However, people should just recognize that males have problems which they face, just as females also do and the lack of compassion for what men go through makes it almost seem like men are not getting the attention they deserve. We need to stop being hypocritical about "female equality", which is gradually tipping towards "female supremacy".
great article.. it's so hard for many men to talk about feelings. I've been told to man up and seen friends just desert me when I wasn't doing well mentally. I don't see as much of that with girls, infact i mainly see them being really supportive to each other.
As a man it's hard to even shake your own identity off as someone who has to be invincible. Really, in my life, it's a choice between being invincible and untouchable or just collapsing in a heap and doing nothing. I don't get much chance to be someone in between.
.... and nobody gives a shit
what a world
Aweome post!
I was lucky enough to grow up in a house where they'd let you study whatever you want, so far as you have a good plan for it. Somehow though we all ended up in medicine or law. But I know all too well that it's not that easy for everyone, and my heart goes out to them all.
Upvoted!
Sometimes being human is a rough job.
My Grandmother used to say, "We all have crosses to carry".
Whether you are religious or not, it is a good ole saying.
Upvoted! Awesome insights - I'm just curious what inspired you to write this post...how did you think of the topic on "masculinism", for lack of a better word..? I've often thought about this myself since I have a few close friends who consider themselves strong feminists (which I think is great by the way) and often advocate their views.
On the flip side though, being a man is something that is rarely if ever discussed - at least in US society - through the lens of potential inequality. Definitely something that should be promoted, since it's different although no less important than being aware of feminine issues and rights.
There are agencies devoted to the welfare of women and children. Why can't we have agencies devoted to the welfare of men? Even men avoid the topic, for fear of being considered chauvinists.
I second that! Although to be fair, there are definitely more violent crimes committed against women than men, but it still does happen... and not only violent crimes, but more psychological (ie, bullying, mobbing) as well.
Yes, more crimes are committed against women than men but it is like that in an hypothetical case of nation A and nation B. If members of nation A are harming members of nation B and vice versa, will we say that the fact that members from nation A are being affected the most implies that we should only help members of group A and leave group B members to their own fate?
Yep, makes sense.. good analogy, totally agree, you're preaching to the choir here lol.
You are very right on some of the points you've emphasized. I like that. i don't want to be controversial in anyway, but as a Nigerian, I grew up in a family where the opinion of every member was taken into consideration whether old or young. And that independent thinking has really helped me a lot in life. Maybe I was lucky,. but I have had the opportunity to make my own decisions and take responsibility for it knowing that my family supported it. I guess it's time we actually start enabling a new generation of "free- thinkers' because that is the only way we can succeed anywhere in the world, whether home or abroad. If you don't trust a child to take responsibility for his actions at some point , he would hardly become a problem solver. I hope we the new generation can bring up our children differently. At the end of the day, everyone would bear most of the consequencies of the decisions they made, or that was made for them at some point in their lives. @illiminatus thanks for sharing! As a Nigerian, it's heart-warming for me to know you raised these issues. Have a lovely weekend!
Thanks a lot, do enjoy your weekend also.
I just woke up this morning, when I thought about what it means to be male, the dilemmas men face and just have to endure in silence, all in the name of "masculinity" and I decided to let the world know what we face. Thanks a lot for your awesome comments, I am really honoured.
This post received a 2.3% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @illuminatus! For more information, click here!
Child custody decisions are incredibly sexist where I come from. Fathers generally only succeed if the mother is literally Satan.
@gentbynature
@racing-richard
Letztens erst darüber gesprochen!
Thank you for this post!
Deep insights mate, its really a complicated Side of the World in Nigeria here....
Thanks mate
Most welcome
Most welcome....
Very, very true. I like it.
wow... thats new... its always been the right of the women... but theres something new here... salute sir....
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Nice, very nice sir @illuminatus, men face a lot of issues that are thrown under the bus by the society who expect men not to voice out. Men unfortunately are also beings capable of emotions.
Men do not get support in life because we are taught to "Man Up"
It's not easy but that is our burden. I'm tired of the "female supremacy" that this age has forced into existence.
I love women, but societies norms have gotten out of whack.
just follow n vote
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