It's good to talk about waiting on or meeting our future spouse. We usually want to meet the one who would make our world go round. The one who could complete us and make the butterflies in our stomach go cray-cray. And this is a good thing, nothing wrong with wanting to feel all those. It's actually healthy for us both physically and emotionally. This is what love can actually do to us. It makes us crazy and sane at the same time.
But you see, falling in love is no joke. Falling in love is a very pleasant thing but it is dangerous and sometimes it could be a false god to many. Sometimes love controls us. As they say it, "love is blind", this is very true. The person in love will tend to see only the good things ab0ut the person and we justify whatever negative or wrong things the person commits in his life. Falling in love is something to evaluate, not something we openly give ourselves to. So the question now is, how do we choose our SOULmate? or shall I say SOLEmate? I've been reading this book entitled " The Sacred Search" by Gary Thomas. And I just want to share a few things that I found important as you choose your future spouse.
First and Foremost, we can never find our SOULmate in this world, because no one could truly fill and satisfy us than the one who created us. Our SOULmate is God Himself. Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Let's get that clear before anything else.
What we want to find is our SOLEmate. Sole is the underside of the foot or shoe. SOLEmate is the person you want to walk with you for the rest of your life. The one who will help you with your journey and who will be there for you and with you wherever life will take you.
So how do we carefully choose our SOLEmate?
1.) Ofcourse first and foremost, the person should also have God as his SOULmate.
2.) Choose a person who is ruled by the Holy Spirit and not ruled by the flesh.
You don't want to fall into sin while you journey together to marriage. And you don't want someone who only wants the satisfaction of his flesh. Choose someone who values morality over flesh desires.
3.) Character Over Status. Don't marry a "Position". Marry a "Person".
Ladies, It's not enough that he is a youth pastor, or a missionary, or a worship leader, or a preacher. The positions we are holding is not a testimony of our character. The way we treat others and the lowly is the true testimony of character. Do not be easily swayed with position but know the person carefully and evaluate his character.
4.)Use wisdom, not destiny.
God gave us a sound mind, and we should always use our wisdom in choosing a partner. Wisdom that comes from the word of God. Do not be controlled by chances or destiny. Do not be deceived by emotions and compatibiliy. Always always use wisdom. You cannot rely on your emotions and feelings when choosing a spouse. Rely on God's voice and ask for discernment from the Holy Spirit to help you decide on things.
5.) Be with someone whom you can share a mission with.
You see, love is a fluctuation feeling. It can come and go. Choose someone who shares the same mission with you. Because the mission that you will do together as years pass by will be the bond that will bridge you to forever. A relationship that is solely based on love and compatibility will always fail- all because our feelings and emotions fluctuate every now and then. Choose someone who is equally yoked with your belief, purpose and calling. You do not want to be dragging your partner or pushing him/her to the pace you are walking in. Sooner or later you will feel exhausted and tired. Choose someone who is running on the same lane with you and the same pace with you.
1Corinthians 16:14 "Let All That You Do Be Done In Love."
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