I do not want to say anything. if lonely and alone is better, do it. If together can divert sadness, do it. Because this is your life, no one has the right to organize it. If you miss your friends, greet them though sometimes time changes everything, their busy life, their family, and others. You're best in the memory of drunkenness and vomiting and friends who are willing to hold your throw up, are the best friends. Selfish? Is not every human being in a mirror saying in my heart "I am beautiful, handsome"? I think, yes. Do not fantasize as if there are millions of eyes judging you, walk, do not listen to that unspoken negative whisper. Keep the passion of the day with a happy heart. I'm happy to follow your story, though it's like melancholy.
Sory my english bad.
Your English is good enough. Thanks for the kind words!