This is why we don't apologize

in #life6 years ago

When we’re kids, we learn to apologize when we do something wrong, but once we grow up it becomes harder to admit if we’ve done something wrong.

I’m sure that at some point someone did something to you and hurt you, but instead of apologizing, that person used techniques to avoid admitting that he/she has done something wrong.

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Do you ever wonder why your partner can say “I’m sorry” when accidentally hitting someone in a bus, but can’t apologize to you?

When you refuse to apologize it’s not about your ego, it’s about protecting yourself. Adults don’t apologize because the words “I’m sorry” cause them certain fears that they want to avoid. Here’s how it works.

Admitting mistakes.


Adults can’t make the difference between a wrong action and their own character.

They tend to believe that neglecting means selfishness, or that doing a bad thing means ignorance.

That’s why apologies become a threat to their own self-esteem.

Guilt.


Most of us don’t apologize because we’re afraid of the sentiment of guilt.

We believe that feeling guilty isn’t about our actions, it’s about ourselves, which makes it a toxic feeling, but it’s not true.

If we’ve done something wrong, that doesn’t define us.

Conflict.


If normally apologies end conflicts, some might believe that admitting a mistake can lead to a bigger fight.

Responsibility.


One of the reasons we refuse to apologize is that we’re afraid that we would have to take all of the responsibility on ourselves.

For example, even if we realize what we’ve done wrong, in a fight with a partner we won’t say “I’m sorry” because we don’t want to be considered guilty for everything, when the partner has also done something wrong.

Adults don’t apologize because that’s what makes them feel like they can control their emotions.

If they like to keep an emotional distance towards their partner, apologizing would mean to become vulnerable, saying “I’m sorry” would bring them closer to the partner and that scares them.

What they don’t know is that an experience like that will help them make the relationship stronger, and it will increase their trust in their partner and themselves.

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others too think more of their ego.this has made people think they are lowered once they admit they have fault.thats so good to hear @jwolf

That is so true. I have had people do blantatly bad things to me, but when I confronted them, they gave stupid excuses and told white lies. Like you said, adult people have a hard time admitting their mistakes. They would rather just give lame excuses.

Human have full of egos. hahaha. but some people they can easily apologise but do not mean it. I rather not to say any apology if it does not mean anything to me.

wow this is really amazing

I really like this post

Admitting our mistakes is the best way to stay peaceful

Good post......

Depends on the people but most of them are really ignorant.

Thank you for sharing!

The inability of humans to use the five letter word sorry has led to someone many damage in this world.

We all need to let go of our ego and say sorry when necessary and with all sincerity.

Yes!
I agree
We need to take more responsibilities that true bro
@Jwolf

you are right here ,We are afraid to take all responsibility. With these things i think our ego stops us to say sorry.Ego is the big thing to destroy any relation ship.This thing keeps us away from saying sorry .We feels shy to say sorry.

if you realized your mistake , its better than say sorry to anybody

Very true, and we tend to think it makes us vulnerable because we can't control our emotions, so we would rather let go of our relationships than say sorry, admitting our mistakes and saying sorry won't make us less than we are, how i wish everyone will understand this to make things easier
Thanks for sharing @jwolf

sometime saying sorry can make our heart feel better just a little word but play an important role

Amen.

I resteemed this because this hits the nail on the head (And it is so fitting for me right now!!).

People cannot stand being wrong. Some more than others - myself included at times. It is just infuriating when someone knows damn good and well they are flat out wrong and just refuse to admit it, start acting out like a child by saying everything is always their fault or nitpicking every little thing the other person has ever done, no matter how long ago or how minor just to deflect the conflict off of themselves.

I do think it has to do with ego at times, however; especially when a person has an over-inflated one and they think the world owes them something. For instance, never taking the blame but instead always making excuses that someone or some situation slighted them, causing them to make the mistake or act the way they did in the first place.

It is just really sad when people are more worried about being right than they are about the relationships they have with others - no matter what type of relationship that is! 😒

This is very educative and intelligent..