It's YOUR Fault You're Not Happy!

in #life7 years ago

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Everyone blames the world when they aren't happy.
They blame their family; They blame their friends. They blame their bosses.
People don't seem to like to take responsibility for their happiness.
We have these bizarre expectations from other people That they owe us things, which they should do things for us. That they are the responsible for our happiness. Which is a bunch of bullshit!

We act like happiness is an external force that can be "found." That can be "given." But it's not true!
Happiness is entirely internal.
You could win the lottery right now; You could win billions of dollars, And guess what? That might not even make you happy.

I know people who have spent so much time trying to make their life "perfect" so they can be happy. And they are miserable as hell.
They have unreasonable expectations of others. And they seem to think if they have more money, Or material goods they will be happy. But they don't realize that it doesn't work that way.
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You Only Can Control YOU

Don't waste your life trying to control others. It will never work. No one will EVER meet all the expectations you have of them.
People are usually going to do, What they WANT to do. Whether or not it's best for you, Or even themselves. Expecting others to behave a certain way, Or do certain things will set you up for failure.
You can be happy without others doing things for you, Do what you enjoy, and be mindful while you enjoy it!
Nobody likes being controlled, and your relationships will be better as a result.
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Deal With Stress Differently

Spoiler for your life: Your going to address a hell of a lot of stress sometimes!
Don't avoid stress, Because if you avoid it. You are potentially avoiding life changing opportunities that are ideal for you.
Often the best things we could ever do in life are ones that are stressful. Becoming self-employed is stressful, Going to job interviews can be stressful.
Dealing with stress the correct way is important. Learn how to make yourself feel better and calmer. Without letting stress damage your happiness level in the long term.

Stress can also cause you to do things you really shouldn't. Things that you'll regret, things that will damage your relationships and your work life if you don't manage it appropriately.
When I'm stressed I take deep breaths; I run, I draw. I do what makes me happy. And If I feel like I could say or do something drastic to the relationships I'm in, I'll stop contacting them for a little while to find my balance and to make myself feel better.

Be Mindful

Enjoy each moment of your life when you can. So many people will be looking at something incredible, Thinking about all the things that make them angry, All the things that others may not be doing for them. And this beautiful sunset, Or moment passes them by Because they weren't mindful.
When you aren't mindful, you are robbing yourself of happiness!


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I totally agree with you. No one should be responsible for other's emotion in my opinion. Yes someone might have done something that makes you feel bad, but it doesn't mean should just cry all night and stay in bed for 24 hours. I would say the best way to avenge is to live 100 times better than ever, you feel good and the one who hurt you would regret

Exactly life is what you make it 👌🏾

Beautiful lines ! Agreed with your view !!

Thank you :)

You are welcome !

You are absolutely right! “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

I love that quote heheh :) It's amazing.

Haha, love that rebellious mindset.

Very True...So many people are extremely unhappy but continuously doing those exact same things everyday that make them unhappy without making a conscious decision to change it immediately. Replace those negative voices with more positive influences and you will feel happy.

I just want to rename this and several of my posts "How to Melt a Snowflake." The whole victim mentality just gets annoying after a while.

OMG! It does! Everyone has bad and good things that happen to them in life.

how do i give this comment more support? hehehe

Try change into something unknown; It can be challenging but change generally can be turned into feeling more alive; And when successful it gives the natural good feeling required to increase the general state of happiness.

Sounds like its time to take responciblity for my actions! ;)

YES! :)

SO.. you being in/from Utah I feel it is the blogger capital of the country. I feel you @kaylinart are such ahead of the blogging world. By being on this platform a serious competitive advantage. Hailey Devine's, Etc... my wife follows all those people. But it's difficult to reward the followers when they have so many because they are not really able to do any form of micro payments and have the same level of interaction with a healthy reward structure for the author and reader/customer.

Only weak ones blame the world around...

Exactly! You need to take responsibility and take action.

So true.. "You could win the lottery right now; You could win billions of dollars, And guess what? That might not even make you happy." Like Yousef Erakat (fouseytube) He has so much, what he wanted all his life. Even if you got so much money, buying a lot of things can make u happy but not everyday.

You can lose all the money, but you’ll never lose people knowing you ~ J. Cole
Money makes the world go ‘round? I don’t think so. Love? Maybe… but the important thing to remember all the time is that when you find your tribe, you keep building it and you give worth to it. Not everybody is blessed with so many loving and caring people. These people are the ones you want to be on your tribe, and they stick with you because they know you love them and value them. And chances are, you will never lose them.

https://www.spiritbutton.com/j-cole-quotes/#ixzz4jXvJCzCO

Beautiful. What I often think and believe in, is: You can only love someone else if you first love yourself.

Being happy is my top priority

I'll be writing a "counter-article" to this one, and found it somewhat ignorant and insensitive to have such a black and white viewpoint on this.

Nowhere in this article do I see the terms depression or PTSD. Some people, like myself, struggle everyday with the simplest tasks and sense of happiness.

My brain literally doesn't work "normally", so please tell me again how that's my fault.

😥

I guess it is all kind of you hedging your bet.
By remaining positive, has greater and many more positive rewards.
Being sour, is like a posion.
Best to just look at life with a dash of sugar instead.

Great post!

Very valuable life lesson, thank you for sharing!

I've done a great blog post on depression, id love it if you took the time and read through it !!!

I'll start with a warning that this comment is just my humble opinion. First I'll say that I pretty much agree with what you posted and I can't really argue against it because what you posted is pretty much true.

However with that said , the first thing that came to mind when I read the title was 'Ouch' :) . And while the title is true in some sense(depending on how you look at it) , it's probably not something you want to tell to a person that is suffering from depression. In doing so would either pull them out of the darkness they are in or ... push them further down into it (again in my humble opinion)

Also , I think your advice on dealing with stress is a good one , but also can be applied to what are considered negative emotions. In that , instead of ignoring them or avoiding them that one can allow oneself to feel it but not get lost in them. I tend to believe that we are all made up of positive and negative , or light and dark , or however you want to put it, and we have the potential to be either at any given moment. And the flip side of what is positive is part of what makes us human. I would tend to think that avoiding , ignoring or denying that the negative exists would do more harm than good in the long term. In that , sometimes one needs to experience the darkness or negative to be able to learn how to deal with it or get out of it as the case may be. (again just my opinion , however I am speaking from personal experience on that one.)

And in saying all that , I do see your post as a positive one and a good post , so thank you for posting this. :)

Thank you, thank you, Thank you. This is the first comment I've seen on here to bring up depression. It is most certainly not my fault that my brain literally doesn't receive dopamine the way it's supposed to, meaning I'm constantly struggling with being happy.

I think this is a bit black and white and doesn't take into account severe abuse, extreme chronic pain, trauma, PTSD, mental illness and the fact that many are in countries where they can't get treatment for things like this but I am glad you have this mindset.

Well said!!!! People need to choose to be happy.

I will upvoting you, your post very nice and i am agree to your post . it is true much.
And please you will follow me .

My psychiatrist says it's my brain's and hormones fault, ha-ha:) Though I never blamed other people.

Yes, happiness is a choice.

For people like myself who are at a constant battle with clinical depression, it absolutely isn't.

I was always taught that we can't control what happens to us, but we can control the way we react to us. Some of the best advice I've heard.

Great Blog!

I heard being mindful can help with a lot of things. I can see that you have done your research.

Sometimes. But if you are a social outcast that no ones wants to be associated with, it is hard to find happiness from within. As human, we starve for human interaction, without many of us will simply starve to death.

Good read. You deserve a:

The self is responsible for the happiness of the self. Others are there to enhance that happiness or highlight the lack of that happiness. We attract others on the same frequency, so if we are unhappy we attract other unhappy individuals and vice versa. Thanks for sharing.

Very beautiful captures ^_^ Thank you for sharing

I totally agree, It is my fault if I am not happy. That is very powerful for me, cause if it were the other way around, then the situation has the power over me.

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It's that entitlement way of thinking that is pervasive, stemming from socialist ideology. I also blame a lot on poor nutrition, and maybe a lot of people are sort of selfish and spoiled.

Agreed <3

very true, there's a book that I read recently called " Back in Control" by Doctor David Hanscom. This is a great book for people with chronic pain and stress..I would check it out if you need help.

Agree. Happiness comes from inside of you, not outside. People, money, circumstances, etc, cannot make you happy if you are an unhappy person. Happiness is a personal decision.

Motivation

Well written & well said..inspired ....by the way you looking gorgeous..upvoted & resteemed :))

I totaly agree. We all have to work on that every day to make our life the way we like it