Echoing the top comment of this video: this interview was so insightful. Anyone considering marriage should probably watch this first before making such a decision. It's like if your drug dealer tells you not to try meth, you better listen and re-consider what you're about to do at least 99 times. He remarked it as an outdated technology, saying that marriage is an incredibly negligent activity with a 56% failure rate (based on where he's from) with most people getting hurt real bad in the end.
Here are some of the notes we've taken based on what he said throughout the interview:-
Love and marriage have very little to do with each other. Pair-bonding makes much more sense than marriage.
Small acts of love and kindness are very important in a relationship. He suggests leaving a note or expressing appreciation to one's partner, as these gestures can have a significant impact on the relationship.
The significance of self-love and being secure in one's identity, stating that having someone who is like your fan, being supportive and cheering on for you can be incredibly valuable.
While he believes in love, he does not see marriage as a necessary or useful institution anymore.
"We are prehistoric creatures, biological creatures living in medieval institutions, with godlike tech, such as Facebook, Instagram, etc to make instant connections and such. How do you think that ends for marriages? Happily ever after? How does that survive in today's world?"
With advancements in technology today, people now have access to endless pool of potential partners through devices like smartphones. He argues that enforced monogamy and the idea of marriage may not be realistic in this environment, supported by statistics that show high divorce rates. He also suggested that the constant comparison on social media and lack of gratitude in today's society make it challenging to maintain long-lasting marriages.
Get a prenup if you want to get married anyway. He considers prenups as romantic because they encourage open conversations about the relationship and financial matters. How are you going to be married to someone, have children with someone, and you can't talk about hard things such as a prenup? How are you going to navigate life together? If you can't talk about hard things you have no business getting married.
Marriage is like lottery - you probably won't win. He has only found one married couple throughout his life and career of 20+ years that is legitimately happy, both individuals being the best version of themselves. They've won the lottery. So buy the ticket if you want the chance to win, but don't make it your retirement plan.
There is nothing, in today's marriage contract, that is beneficial to men.
Unless you consider going to jail without trial a benefit. (3 hots and a cot can be quite a step up for some)
It used to be that you at least couldn't be accused of rape... but now, the woman who said yes to having an intimate relation with you (at the altar), can say no at any time thereafter.
And everything a man could do to keep his woman in line is now called abuse, and you can go to jail for it.
Including withholding your money from her excess spending.
And the big one "for the kids", well, you have more rights to see your child if you aren't married then if you were.
This is an institution that has killed more good men than any other in recent times.
It should be outlawed.
Enforced monogamy has to be enforced by the society.
The piece of paper doesn't care. Infidelity is no more a reason for divorce than unhappiness.
Folks become jaded and baggage eats away at the apple that drops to the ground only to be eaten by worms and scavengers. Marriage does not last because folks are not selfless anymore. They do not put the other person first in humility for the welfare of the marriage. No wonder we have such a high divorce rate.
Your takeways are interesting. Divorce rates are high, people think prenups are bad but I've also heard lawyers say it protects marriage too. Also the Internet makes people believe good patners exist everywhere and tend not to appreciate and work on what they have...
"Love and marriage have very little to do with each other."
Well, obviously if you go into a marriage with that mindset then you are doomed to failure. Duh.
The divorce rate has been in the neighborhood of 50% for about as long as divorces have been (relatively) easy to get. I know people that have been happily married for decades and others that have been divorced multiple times. Some people want it and some people don't. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren't. Some people make good judgements and some people don't. Some get lucky and some don't.
It seems like just yesterday the LGBTQ community was fighting for equal marriage rights. Now the thing is nobody should ever get married. Make up your mind society.
As a man who recently married. I still believe in marriage. While the takeaways from the i interview have valid points, for me nothing is stronger than a bond formed with God in the center. Truth is me and my wife had been together for 13 years and we've built a life around each other already that having a wedding ceremony isn’t at all practical. Still I wanted us to get wed as I felt that something was still missing. And that hole is now filled.
💯
Personally, i never resonated much with the concept or envisioned myself living that conventional life path - seeing it really merely as a social/cultural/institutional construct. And an outdated one, yeah - at least for a couple that is conscious, confident in themselves & their connection, and sees through the full implications of subscribing to this traditional contractual (kinda such a heartless, inhumane) approach to defining a relationship through a business agreement.
Much more saw the merit in the takes like, “nothing says ‘I love you from the bottom of my heart’ like getting the government involved with legal contracts and obligations from which you cannot escape without immense complications.” lol.
the conditioning/programming runs DEEP though. from the whole religious frameworks of it to Hollywood’s idealized “happily ever after” version, it’s an IDEA that’s sunk so far into many’s conceptions of reality… and in some ways has many living in a world of fiction, in relationship with their mental constructs of what a wife/husband “should” be rather than just a simple, direct heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul relationship with the HUMAN BEING themself.
Of course, this may be an amplified articulation to prove a point - obviously not a one-size-fits-all generalization - and if it works for some people, good for them.