Hey everyone, I got into a conversation with a friend earlier today about follow-through and self-confidence. My friend has some issues with making big goals and setting high expectations, but they hardly, if ever, put in the work to match their ambitions. I love big goals and ambitions - as many of you know - but it's actually detrimental to your own self-confidence if you set huge goals and then never follow-through on their achievement.
If you are constantly making goals and aspirations, but then not putting in the work and effort that you know are required to get the job done, then you will never build self-confidence.
I grew up as a really shy and quiet kid - even to this day, I have to work really hard to put myself out there and be confident about myself. I’ve found that my confidence has explosively increased over the last several years as I’ve set goals and achieved them.
Don’t get this twisted - I’m not saying to set small goals that you know you can achieve. What I am saying is that you need to set big goals that you have to stretch yourself to in order to achieve, but then actually put the work in required to achieve the goal.
I’m sure a lot of you have experienced a situation that looks something like this - you set a hard goal and you try to achieve it, but you also watch a lot of netflix or go out too much over the weekend and you know in the back of your mind that you’re not doing everything in your power to achieve the goal.
When the end date to that goal finally comes and you haven’t achieved what you thought you were going to, then you’ve just taken a huge blow to your self-confidence. Whether you like it or not, you’ve just lied to yourself. Every time you lie to yourself, you’re diminishing your self-confidence.
The flip side to this is that setting ambitious goals and not achieving them can also be a really positive driving factor in your success. I read the Elon Musk biography recently and Musk gets a lot of flak for setting overly-ambitious goals in short time frames and then delivering on the goals months after he said he would.
I don’t look at this as a failure, in fact, I look at it as one of the main reasons that Musk’s companies are so successful and innovative. He sets wildly ambitious goals and pushes his team to the limit in order to try and achieve the goal. They do everything in their power to achieve it in that time frame. When the time comes and the goal isn’t yet complete, they don’t look at it as a failure, they look at it as a motivational factor to push even harder to accomplish the goal as soon as humanely possible.
The key difference between these 2 types of people is that the first is setting an ambitious goal and then not matching their actions to that ambition. The second (Musk) is setting wildly ambitious goals as well, but then he is actually doing everything in his power to match that ambition. Even though the second may not reach their goal on time, you can rest assured that they will continue to push as hard as they possibly can until the goal is complete.
The takeaway: set big goals, but then do everything in your power to achieve your goals. Don't set big goals and then sit on your hands and make excuses for why you can or can't achieve your goals. If you continue to push yourself and set big goals, then you'll build your self-confidence and you'll know that if you set your mind to it, you can do anything.
Here's the Question of The Day, don't forget to post your answers in the comments!
Are you setting goals and matching your actions to your ambitions and doing everything in your power to achieve them?
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave your thoughts below and I look forward to seeing you in the comments!
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Nice post. I need to do some self-reflection and set goals. I get busy in the rat race everyday and hardly take time to think about my goals. Thank you for the encouraging information!
Thanks @cookit! You just have to do it! If you have greater ambitions, then you have to match your daily effort to what it takes to achieve those ambitions! The only way out of the rat race is to stop racing for a paycheck and start racing for your dreams!
Very true!
Khaleel you have said everything one needs to know on this subject so I'll only add that readers go through it again to fully absorbed the message. I came from a background with almost nothing and then set a target to achieve anything I set in sight. I learned to balance personal life and work life. I am not at the top of my game yet but am sure farther from where I started.
Just to add, have you heard about this quote before:
Thanks @lordjames! I love hearing your experience and it's very valuable to all of us to hear, thank you for sharing and keep up the good work! Progress is slow and requires consistent effort, keep at it my friend!
I haven't heard that quote, but it is very very true! Diligence and respect for your craft is essential!
@lordjames You read Bible too. Our dad reads us Proverbs to make us sleep. I remember this one.
If you have time @khaleelkazi look back here and see if there is anything strange about this post. You don't have to answer. Are you okay? If you need anything please let me know.
Am I the friend you're talking about??? Haha
Just messing, but seriously, this has been my achilles heel throughout life. I dream big dreams, then start to work on them, then start dreaming more big dreams and get side-tracked.
Part of it lately has been the time cfrunch I'm in combined with too many goals being set, but I am pushing myself, I need to push harder.
Resteemed this one, mostly as a reminder to come back and remind myself, but also because I haven't resteemed you in a while and I think your my favorite dolphin(?) on here, we definitely think alike in many ways
Haha, a part of me was writing to myself as well!!
It has also been an Achilles heel to me - I have diverse interests and dream of doing so many different things and I can find myself off-track all the time!
YES! Keep pushing my friend and enjoy the journey - if you enjoy the journey and the grind then you will always be happy no matter what the outcome is! That's what I do for myself - do the things that are most interesting to me and that push me in the direction of my goals. It keeps me motivated each morning when I wake up!
I really appreciate the resteem and your support @jakeybrown! It means so much and we are definitely alike in a ton of ways! I don't know if I qualify as a dolphin - that's a great question lol!
I really like this one @khaleelkazi. You are my big brother on Steemit. I have some uncles who feed minnows but I definitely look up to you as my big brother. I have no big brother actually now that I think of it.
Maybe you wrote this after a work out? Today is the first day of the school year for me and my little brother. I am totally a teenager now cause zits are attacking. Math is also attacking from day one. I would like to play Angry Bird Star Wars and forget about it.
I want to get through this year alive and control my temper. I don't have much patience and it is taking me three weeks to paint a bowl of fruit. I guess that's why I am @artjohn.
Thanks @artjohn! It's great to have you back and in these posts, I love hearing your perspective and I've missed hearing from you!
I did write this after a workout, but also after a conversation with a close friend about goals that she'd set for herself but never followed through on - that was the inspiration of this post!
Patience is the key, my friend. We're all so young and we have so much time to do great things! As the saying goes - Rome wasn't built in a day! The best achievements in life take both effort and patience, so keep at it!
This is so great to hear @khaleelkazi. I will try to come by of course.
Yes
"Rome wasn't built in a day!"
That's right. It's not a masterpiece but I can say, "I did it!"
highly motivated articles like you can make your own book and become a professional writer ..
I was very impressed with this part that your post "Every time you lie to yourself, you're diminishing your self-confidence."
thanks for this post i really like :)
@khaleelkazi
Very true words @khaleelkazi, I have once said to myself that before I turn 25yrs, I would travel to three different countries in Europe, sadly, am 26 and haven't achieved crossing my country borders.
However, I know some day, some how, this goal will be achieved and even more, but the question is how? This is where faith comes in, I don't know how, but I just believe something is going to work out. Now, this doesn't mean I will seat nd cross my legs, waiting for a miracle. I have already started seeking for scholarships and sooner or later, my dream will come through. I am an African!
Yea @desmoniac, faith is good but even the Bible says that faith without work is useless. So it all still bores down to putting in some level of effort. Owk you know you need money to travel out, what efforts are you putting in now to raise money? To make money requires that you work and that work you do is the effort you are putting in to achieve your set goal
Cheers!
Great post good read
wow! it is most important blog for every human life. Because a man who can't self confidence in his life & he can suceess in life. thanks for sharing. keep it up
This kind of comments might not help us to grow on a community base platform.
I agree...and as I grew older, I paid less attention to negativity and what others think of me. It's important to still pay attention to others and be aware, but mostly you should do what your heart is set out on doing and keep others opinions at arms-length.
Great post Dude ! very helpful
This post hits home for me in a few different ways. I work hard but I don't push as hard as I know I can to achieve my goals. One of my problems is one that you explained that you had earlier in the post. I'm not a kid anymore but I still find myself shy to speak up or even make a simple comment like this. I keep saying in my head what if it's not good enough and I know that's the wrong way for me to feel but sometimes it's hard to overcome. Anyway, your post is very motivational to me and I appreciate you taking the time to share it.
Accomplishment brings feelings of confidence.
So is being healthy, be healthy, look healthy.
Also having a conversation with someone who is attractive can have you feeling amazing for hours, days...just gets all your body pumping!
I strongly agree with this post, great ambition is needed but must be accompanied by effort and achievement as well, and also for a big goal is needed confidence is high so that when the wishes aspired to be not realized then the feeling of regret and despair does not haunt us. keep all the work or ideals in earnest so that what we want can be realized as expected
if you have nothing but you have confidence you achieved everything
Confidence is also built on the knowledge that you tried something and did the best you could do.
I couldn’t say that better myself. It’s all a structure that builds into itself!
Thanks for shairng this @khaleelkazi - I completely agree. I am currently reading the Elon Musk biography for the second time, it's turning out to be one of my favourite books.
As a full time ICO consultant, I always set ambitious goals. I take on a lot of work, a lot of projects etc. and then work my hardest to achieve them.
Thanks again for sharing this, I really enjoy your motivational posts.
Great lesson!
Good insight into the issue if building confidence. I love your views
Thanks! What did you like most about it and is there a goal that you have that you’re trying to make progress on?
People who actually write down their goals and update them as the go are 80% more likely to achieve them! Just so the people in the comments know.
There is a third type of person...One who never sets any goals and just takes whatever he sees.
Well for Elon Musk. I got interested in him that I had to re write a biography of him on my blog. I got so interested in the fact that he always had wiered ideas but always brought them to live. Once he says he would do something, he starts and never stops till he achieves it and that's just plain amazing.
Some don't even set goals at all for fear of not being able to achieve them. While some set and expect some miracle to happen for them to achieve it without putting in the work. Effort is what matters most. Some think that because they have talent, that's enough ...but even you talent will disappear if you don't put effort into maintaining it and so it is with setting goals and puttining in work and effort into achieving them.
Many people become discouraged when the goal seems too big or faraway, especially those who are depressed and hopeless. You need to set a goal (maybe a sub-goal of your bigger goals) that you can achieve soon (today?) but which is big enough to fell substantial
I agree. Even what seem like small accomplishments should be celebrated especially if it took that person a great deal of effort to achieve the goal.
Yes! Small accomplishments should definitely be celebrated!
Same thing happened to me, as soon as i started demolishing my goals my confidence skyrocket!
Yeah, the worse part is when i'm watching some Netflix and actually realize i should be studying or working, my mind tells me to go work but my body is so comfortable on the couch xD
Every time i think elon musk is exaggerating his setting goals he achieves them, i guess we can't put all "blame" on elon, he has a really good team supporting him
I am, the only difficult part is when i need more people to actually achieve those goals and they are not as hardworking and or focused as i am....
Sorry I haven't been around for a day. I let Lord James Lord over your post today. It's cool. I really needed some time offline. I am in still in the process of sorting things out. It looks like John was here too. Thanks for encouraging him. You made a great investment here in Steem delegation. I'm learning from you how to handle a blog here. I will be slow but consistent.
Oh about the question of the day...
I am not setting goals and doing everything in my power to achieve them. I guess instead of goals I have priorities. One of them is John.