I had an old poem I wrote and it had a line something like " Spending late night listening to the dead (reading) I'd rather take two blues and watch Ratatouille (alluding to loratabs which were blue - never had an opiate thing beyond the occasional here and there and my favorite is to watch cartoons since they are so bright and happy, and enhance the calm feeling). I also had worried as a child that I might be 'brilliant' , siince i only knew how tough the lives of most of the scientists, writers and adventurers we learned about in school had been. At one point I even decided not to learn anything more to save me the pain lol. I have sort of come to viewing this balancing act of information/cynasism & joy as a sine curve undulating along an x axis that represnts how much I know. I feel determined and optimistic, then learn something that brings me back into cynasism, but if I keep on pushing through that and having those conversations with the dead, I always find that piece that brings me peace. It's interesting how the visualization of the sine curve also is represented in the grief picture. Another great way of looking at it, that helps it make sense (as much as anythiing every makes sense that is haha). I always tell people who comment on my happy personality that I worked a lot harder for my optimism than my cyasism and see it as a sign of wisedom beyond the intelligence that gives me my more caustic attributes. Great piece, well done!!
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