I remember the natural tunnel vision of teenage-hood. The small, long, unflatteringly lit cave where everything seems to have monumental repercussions. I remember how a single off kilter interaction could ruin a day, or even a relationship. I remember how my own reflection was constantly under a microscope, analyzing for imperfections, failures, and lack. The slight glances of unfriendly faces could unleash an avalanche of negative thoughts about myself and build castles of conspiracy in my imagination. High school can be hard.
Standing now with the open sky vantage point of an adult, those daily stresses seem minute. They were trivial and fleeting. I can see now with extreme clarity, the inconsequential nature of every fear, every lie, every worry that invaded my teenage thoughts, and worked tirelessly to take up permanent residence in my mind.
I can see clearly now, what my teenager cannot perceive.
My oldest daughter had a rough end to the school year. Some friends that had been close, became suddenly unkind. They got lost in their own insecurities and made choices to push others down to try to elevate themselves. It was sudden, it was confusing, it hurt. My daughter is now seeing the last days of summer quickly falling off the calendar, and the pain of seeing these people everyday in class is threatening to steal her joy. My girl is strong. She is brave and wise. But no one wants to walk into close quarters with friends who have betrayed. It's uncomfortable.
I am uniquely positioned in my daughters life, as all parents or influential adults are in their child's lives. I can see things she cannot. I get to experience her life with a birds eye view, with perspective she doesn't have.
I get the privilege of painting for her, a full color, boundless horizon, masterpiece of her life. I get to reach into her heart and pull out every bit of gold, every diamond, every uniqueness, every aptitude, every good and perfect thing in her, and lay them out for her to see. I get to hold her close as we fly up out of the tunnel, into the bright expansive sky of her future.
I get to give her hope.
I get to show her that the fleeting opinions of others do not define her identity. That every pain offers an opportunity to either come under or to rise above. I get to remind her that she's made of the stuff that rises above. I get to show her that who she is, and who she chooses to be in the face of adversity, matters so much more than the juvenile dramatics of the kids around her. I get to amplify the wonder of the 80 years of full life ahead of her, and corral back into it's place the microscopic nature of fleeting high school theatrics.
Kids are up against so many pressures that are trying to make their tunnel ever smaller. We get to pull them up and out, into the bright beautiful sunrise.
Your perspective matters. You have hope to give. Let your child see what you see.
thanks for sharing. it really motivates me. thanks
Thank you
Nice post i'm following you !! upvoted and resteemed !
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STOPDealing with teenagers is never easy. You need to let go but pull them backwards if they cross boundaries. Thank you for sharing. I have an autistic son so I faced a different type of problems.
I'm sure he has felt your encouragement throughout his whole life. : )
Awesome
I'm new to Steem, thanks for the inspiration! Please come check out my posts, too! Upvoted, followed :)
Beautifully written!! I'm about to head back to school myself as a high school counselor. High school is so tough and so much different than when we were kids. These are inspiring words that I can take with me as a reminder for what it is that I really need to be doing when all of the little details of my job try to steal my true mission away from me. Great article!
Thank you! I think you are such a hero for working in the school system and impacting these kids. It is so needed and it is a hard job. I'll be praying for fresh grace this year for you
Thanks. Next Monday is my first day back. I always get a little pit in my stomach but I'm hoping I can go back with renewed energy and wisdom! I do love my job and watching them make it through the challenges they face is what keeps me going.
If my life had gone differently in my younger years, I think I would have enjoyed pursuing a job similar to yours. As a parent, dealing with teens has been my favorite stage. I love getting to talk to them and help them process. I'm sure you are such a huge light of hope to those kids. Even if you don't feel like you are at your best or your most energetic, I'm sure just being you and being there is major for those teens
I actually happened into high school without intending to! I was an elementary and middle school teacher for quite some time. I always thought I'd be counseling at one of those levels. When I was applying, the only position open was for an alternative setting at the high school level. Oh man, I was so scared to take that leap! But so very glad I did. My students have taught me as much as I have hopefully taught them! It's never too late, you know! The world needs more passionate and compassionate high school counselors! ;-)
Necc animasen