So sorry @stitchybitch - I felt everything you're probably feeling right now when my dad took his life...I blamed myself that our love wasn't enough and when he failed two times before he followed through I also felt like we were also buying time. My heart aches for your pain and everyone else saddened. Stay strong and know her energy will live forever. Lots of love to you 💞
I am so sorry that you lost your father this way and you had to feel that kind of pain. I hope that you've found some peace in some way, or at the very least, more closure.
Sometimes when people really want to leave, there is nothing you can do to stop them.
There was one time, when she told me she had ordered pills. We talked for hours, I was begging her to cancel the order for the pills, to let me get her help. She told me how trapped she felt in her own body. In the pain. The sadness. I spent a long time thinking on that, especially when she disappeared for a while. She never took them that time. But I was so sure she was gone, I mourned her before her death. And weirdly, that somehow has made this whole thing easier. In my mind, she has died a couple times.
I hope that you know that there is nothing you could have done differently, and I am sure that he loved you more than words could ever convey. Just sometimes... the pain and sadness eclipses it in shadow.
Much love to you, and my inbox is always open. <3
I can't imagine the pain she felt, but I do know with my own illness pain does make you feel trapped. I'm okay, but I hope you are too. Love to you always and I'll see you soon on discord. Hugs to @stitchybitch 😘