I’ve been a night owl for most of my life. At 2 a.m., I think the night is young, but 3 a.m. may be an acceptable hour to finally turn off the lights.
However, over the past three years, I have been struggling with bouts of insomnia. It’s an awful sensation, you know you’re incredibly tired, you can feel it in every fiber, yet the voices in my head won’t stop droning. Well, it’s not surprising, first with the pandemic and now with the war. Mostly, I’ve been trying to understand what’s going on and I must admit I’ve come to no conclusion.
I’ve also spent many nights going over Gabor Mate’s ideas on trauma, and it got to the point where I’d be still awake at 6 a.m. Thinking about long-forgotten episodes or people in your life is very enlightening, but it takes a toll. Not even a full-time freelancer like me can function well when going to sleep after sunrise.
There’s already too much stress in our lives. I decided I don’t need more. Something needed to change.
I’m happy to say I’ve left others to worry about the fate of the world. I no longer toss and turn in bed trying to anticipate what tomorrow will bring. To hell with it!
I’ve put my personal demons to rest. For the time being, at least. You cannot change the past so there’s no point in ruining the present.
One of the things I’ve found helpful in my quest for serenity is the calming power of scented candles. I didn’t use to believe in such a silly thing, but that has changed. We need to change and embrace new ideas or habits, lest we become too set in our ways, which is a symbol of age.
Each night I light a number of candles beside the bed and I let a small one burn even after I turn off the lights. It helps to ward off the demons who start chattering when it’s pitch dark. This room is protected. Go away and let me sleep!
I’ve also been experimenting with bedtime yoga. Another novelty in my life and I have my daughter to thank for that. I don’t care for the exercise much but for the calming music and the soothing voice of the yoga lady on Youtube. What I particularly liked in one of her bedtime routines is the idea of giving yourself permission to slip into a good night’s sleep. That is indeed my problem. I used to stay awake as I saw it as my duty to think things over. Things I couldn’t change anyway. I mean I’ve demonstrated in my head over and over why all the pandemic restrictions were stupid and nothing changed…
Lighting a few candles is a signal I give my brain. Quiet now, go rest, you’ve done enough for today.
Also, looking for candles that do have some sort of scent has become a very fun activity. Last weekend, I managed to find sweet vanilla-scented ones and now I’m planning another trip to that mall…
Do you suffer from insomnia? How do you cope with it? Any secrets you may have could be useful as the night demons might learn the trick with the candles!
I know I'm out of order,but whisky helps a lot! 😉
Not really... :)) don't you think I've tried that? My inner demons must be alcoholics.. :))
I suppose you've tried counting sheep:)
But seriously, I used to suffer terrible insomnia as a teenager, and in my 20s but after some advice to the effect of using bed as a place only to sleep, not to read, to watch tv, and certainly not to think, I was able eventually to fall straight asleep and have never had trouble again. You're on the right track using the candles as a trigger that you associate with sleep.
Not read in bed? Why would you say such a thing to me? I'm just working on a post about that... But, indeed, the candles seem to work and I've had no trouble getting to sleep over the past few weeks.