Hey everyone, @lemony-cricket here, and... well, just accept my apology already.
Sorry? What have you done?
Nothing. I didn't do anything to you. The "you" in the title, as well as the person I'm speaking to in the brief introduction, is hypothetical. I'll switch to a different "you" now. Now, when I say "you," I'll be meaning me.
You know those people you run into? Like literally run into. On the street, or in another public place. It's busy, you're walking along and BOOM. You really hit them. Maybe they fall down, or drop something. But here's where it gets interesting. What do you say?
Oh, sorry about that!
Very good. This is correct. This is the correct thing to say, when you bowl a person over running down the street like a lunatic.
There are a couple of things that can happen now. Your victim could get up, dust themselves off, and have a genuine laugh with or at you and say any of the following:
- 'S all good, mate.
- Hey, don't worry about it.
- One of those days, eh?
Any of these, or variations thereof, are acceptable.
Sometimes, it's a bit tougher. Perhaps your victim is having a bad hair day. Perhaps their cat has just died, or they're a big boss at Facebook and their wife's just left them for a top 20 Steem witness. These are understandable things that happen to everyone. It's part of the human condition. So they ignore you, or mumble something and start walking off. This is only fair. You've earned it. You did fuck up and run them over, after all. Don't forget that you're still the arsehole here.
This is where you try again. Care to give it a try?
Look mate, I'm really sorry, I dunno what I was thinking, not looking where I'm going like that. Are you hurt?
Perfect. That does it. Sincere, heartfelt, and to the point. You've admitted fault; you have established that this is not just your standard, run-of-the-mill apology handshake; you are truly sorry.
But then, they look at you in the eye, maybe shake their head, and just walk off. Maybe silently. Extra points for:
Fuck off.
Right, then. Who's the arsehole now? 🍋
How to get an upvote from me today: Do you think apologies for honest and trivial mistakes deserve to be acknowledged and accepted? Think it's the offended party's natural-born right to snub them? Share my view? Think I'm an entitled snowflake? All comments are welcome.
I think it be rather hilarious if the person who owned the account "you" come in here and said apologize accepted.
Your style of post is starting to look awfully like another I know ;)
I think we are all entitled snowflakes how the heck can you not be with way its defined. People who complain about snowflakes are freaking snowflake! Stop being snowflakes everyone --- darn time traveling cats now acting like snowflakes.
Oh no. I'm not meaning to copy anyone. I'm really not. I've been doing this "interactive" prompt/response format intermittently since one of my first posts.
I don't really love "snowflake" as an insult. Seems too easy to throw around. But I come up with different things to stick in that signature there. It's fun, because I'm accusing my audience of having that viewpoint, but not espousing it myself. So I get to come up with the most creative way to insult myself. :)
Yes, that would be nice. But we don't always get what we deserve. As you said, something dreadful might have happened to them today, and they just might not be able to be gracious. Not acknowledging your apology is about them, not about you. And if you choose to take offence, that's about you, not about them.
Perfectly said. I'm about half kidding around. I don't blame someone for refusing to accept an apology if it's some terrible thing. Even if it's sincere, if the person was being malicious at the time, or even just inadvertently caused a huge amount of damage... well, I understand. But getting knocked over? Didja break anything? No? Well, come on and get over it then!
I just can't help feeling like it's kind of petty if it's obvious I made an honest mistake, with no malice behind it. But yeah, I'd never actually wish anything bad on anyone for refusing an apology.
I try to be kind. I don't know what others are going through. That's why I let out my frustrations to my Internet friends instead. :)
You also never know how they will feel later. Later they might be the one going "OMG, I was so rude. That poor guy was trying to make it up to me and I just walked off." Who amongst us hasn't reacted to something in a way we later regret?
Nobody. I've been that person. Definitely. I'm not sure about this specific thing; I'm pretty laid-back when it comes to accepting apologies. It's like, whatever. I can't even really remember the last time I felt wronged enough to warrant an apology.
But with my actions in general? Most certainly. I have lots of regrets about the way I have treated people.
Like I said to you over on my post, we all try our best and we all sometimes fail. But the opportunity to talk about it is always helpful, so thanks for the open ended question.
It is our natural born right to choose our own behavior. I treat people the way I deserve to treat them, with respect. An unintended consequence is, most of the time, I am treated with respect. "You" acted with respect and class opening the door to reciprocal behavior, but we can't expect reciprocity. And we have absolutely no right to demand it.
Well, more correctly, I'd say I have a right to demand it, but it might make me the arsehole again. :)
And of course, "you" have the perfect right to ignore my demand, and even tell me to
It's a free world, after all. Kinda.
If we were a little less sensitive, we wouldn't melt so quickly. -:)
Better yet. Reverse apology:
Same scenario... you run into someone, knock them over.
Instead of instantly apologizing, look them in the eye... and say
You deserved it
They wont even have time to be mad because they will be so confused, and immediately confronted with all the pent up guilt they have been dealing with silently
I like you. I like the way you think.
Ehh...they're not exactly nice...but they aren't required to accept your apology. Especially if they're having a seriously bad day. Now if they really layed into you, then they'd be an asshole. I don't think you're an asshole for running into them though either. Just thoughtless maybe.
I think the
was unnecessary at best. It was at this point that I became entirely divested from the situation. "Fuck it" mode was engaged. In a way I'm actually grateful it happened this way. I might have ended up continuing to feel guilty about it.
Instead, I got to conclude that I was not the problem in this situation, and I was inspired to write this post. Two wins in one.
Okay, he's a minor asshole for that.
I think it's best to follow Jesus and do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Being that the scenario offers and chance to share a little piece of happiness and joy, even in the event of the fuck you ass-hole, it could easily be a comedy and the opportunity to snap the angry person out of the fog.... or get in to a nice fist fight. Not, choose the high road and keep your self respect.
All good said and done... but have you ever been to China? :D I advise staying away, judging by your thoughts on bumping into people.
This is completely foreign to me.
I'm Canadian you see, and we have this knack for apologies; sorry if you've heard this before but its a national affliction.
It's so deeply ingrained into the culture that if you had of run me down in the street as your narrative suggest.. I'd be apologizing to you!
Just the other week my buddy Manner was regaling me with a thrift store excursion wherein an little old blue bonneted lady continually kept running into him throughout the store... They had a 'Sorry-Off'. Even when he saw her coming around for another pass all he did was preemptively apologize and take firm hold of his Tim Hortons coffee to ensure its survival.