It is too often the case that we struggle through lives we wouldn’t have chosen for ourselves. Even those of us with ambitions betray the fulfilment of our goals by moving the targets each time we start growing close to them.
The problem, I believe, is that we are not precise enough in our aim. This likely stems from the inability to distinguish between our will and our desires.
One can have a million desires, but they can only have one will. And to make matters more cloudy, very often our desires contradict our true will, and serve more accurately as consolation prizes meant to help us forget the fact that we haven’t achieved what we really want.
It’s understandable. We live in a world of distractions, and it’s difficult enough to find the time to sit down and think about what we truly want from life when we’re too busy trying to survive. But it’s very important to do so.
When we think about what we want – we should then go deeper, and scrutinise why we want that. For example, if someone finds they want to be a teacher, looking deeper they may find that they want to shape how people think. If someone feels they want to be a police man or a fireman, they might, after looking further into their mind, discover that what they truly want is to to help people. The deeper one digs, the closer they will get to uncovering the truth of what they want their life to mean. And for the person who is undecided on what they want, and can think of many things they believe they’d be happy with – finding the common thread within those potential futures is the key to discerning what their will for the world, and what their place in that will, may be.
It’s possible that in searching the depths of our desires and our aspirations in life, we may uncover parts of ourselves that we’re not entirely comfortable with. But there is usefulness in such knowledge, for when we know what we truly want and why, we know how best to attain it and exercise it in a manner that we are comfortable with.
So the answer to getting what we want in life, may be a lot simpler than we realise. The first step, is to allocate the time – and the honesty necessary, to decide upon a will for ourselves. “I want to be the CEO of Apple” is not, in my opinion, a productive will. “I want to have a position of influence in a successful technology-based organisation” may be a better one. “I want to be in a position where I can influence the progression of technological advancement” might be more appropriate still.
While it is important to be precise about the position we want for ourselves in life, it is just as necessary to be ambiguous enough with our will as to encapsulate all potential realms in which that position and the benefits it offers us can be realised. This will aid in our observation skills and ensure we do not bypass any opportunities that would lead us towards the actualisation of what we want the most.
The second step is simple, in theory – Don’t give up. Perseverance is needed, of course, to achieve what we want the most. However, perseverance without clarity of will is unlikely to yield results. Without a profound clarity of will, it will continue to change, and we will further lack the motivation to successfully pursuit our goal, because being unclear on what it is, means we cannot observe and draw inspiration from growing closer to it.
So if getting what you want is something you’re interested in, perhaps the first thing on your to do list should be finding the time to analyse yourself closely and discover what your will is. Then, stop settling for the fulfilment of distracting desires and persevere towards the realisation of what you really want, now that you will have the eyes necessary to notice the countless opportunities that can be seized towards that end as they present themselves.
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Your analysis is correct in some ways @lordless.exile as being clear about what we want and following it up with determination will ultimately get us what we want.
But you didn't cover what happens to the people that don't get distracted and actually get what they want over and over again.
I got what I wanted over and over again for over 20 years and I am starting to want nothing. I also realized that I am nothing and that everything else is nothing too 👍🏼
It seems like you want to want nothing. But, someone who wants nothing has no reason to write a comment. And even if you had all that you had wished for, would you not then wish for things to stay as they are?
Perhaps it is possible to have entirely no wants. But, I question whether someone who wants nothing is still someone. Even if your wants are what would typically be labelled as selfless, they are still selfish in the sense that you want them because you want others to be happier because that would make you happier. Perhaps, if you had entirely no sense of identity, then you would have no wants at all - but that doesn't sound like a life to me, nor like something that would be at all useful for others.