Interacting with people is always a mind field, especially if you are like me, form your own opinions thru observation and research and do not ask for anyone's.
Some people will say you have an attitude, when you do not change as they will like you to. I would say that actually deserves respect, you do not need to go with the flow and change your beliefs as the wind blows, is better to stand your ground. I cannot tolerate people around me that have a total lack of consideration for others. I don't really care of what other people think of me, most of which are quick to judge anyway, because what I think of myself matters most. I don't have to bow to anyone's opinion, but I do have to be able to look in the mirror and say that I've done the right thing.
I have no interest in people who try to impose their ideas and will on others, and who use manipulation to get their way. Mostly, this sort of people are insecure, look to validate their ideas on the outside, they lack respect for their pears and as far as I am concerned for themselves as well.
As time goes by, in dealing with such people my patience "grows" shorter, not worth wasting energy with them. If you observe them carefully, such individuals are under the impression that they are superior while everyone else is there to make them shine... or so they think. That sort of ignorance reflects in their shallow character and the disrespect they display on an unconscious level.
Being respectful to your pears is something that goes back to the values that you were exposed to as a child. Today, sadly, respect is one of those things that are more scarce than diamonds, yet not even remotely appreciated, unless you meet with rudeness and only then you think of it.
Some say respect is earned, but I strongly disagree. You don't have to do anything special to be respected. Simply put, respect life and the world around you, IF you respect yourself. You do not have to prove yourself worthy of respect to any stranger you meet, but the way that stranger treats those around, shows more than meets the eye.
As far as I am concerned. I do treat all those I meet with respect, I've guided myself by the saying "Treat others as you want to be treated." even before I was aware of the concept, and that used to be an unwritten rule in the past, but no longer valid these days.
I've meet and dealt with a variety of people in the past, like we all do, some very polite and respectful, while others outright rude. I used to respond back to the latter in the same manner. However I shortly realized that the rude are not only that but much more, when treated the same, they were the ones complaining, as being mistreated. They were crying for help, when made to swallow their own medicine.
That was making things a whole lot more complicated, and most of the time the rude comes up on top, just because plays the victim and is the first to express dissatisfaction. As you see, rudeness has other related qualities that tag along. One true personality trait will always show more of what's behind the curtain.
Turning the treatment around doesn't solve anything, most of the time makes matters worse. So, treating others as they treat you is something that should not be used too often, it might work if you mean to punish, but is not really worth it.
Now, instead of treating the rude as they deserve, I do not treat them at all, plain and simple they become nonexistent for me, I cut them out. Those who are rude and disrespect me, do not deserve my attention. So I walk away leaving them behind, I distance myself from the ones not worth having around, and I do not let them come back for a second round.
I don't give second chances anymore, I've seen that people do not really change, not because of outside circumstances. Once their character is set in, is there to be part of them as long as they live on this earth, is who they are, so don't let them fool you again. When they fool you once is their fault, but if they fool you again is because you didn't learn the lesson in the first place.
However, in the rare instance when people change, and keep in mind, that very seldom happens, is because they come to realize something major within themselves, myself never seen such people, only heard about it, but I believe is still possible.
Rude people only hurt themselves, cannot hurt you unless you allow them to. Treat them with understanding, they do not realize in what light they show themselves around. Trying to teach them a lesson might make them feel guilty, but bitter at the same time, and that will center you as their bitterness target.
The way you make people feel goes a long way, and if you desire to help someone, that is what you should start with. People may forget what you said and what you've done, but never how you made them feel. That 's why is best to be genuine and respectful with everyone you meet.
It's not easy to take abuse and not respond to it accordingly. Trust me when I say, there were times when I was so enraged, by the way I was treated and blatantly disrespected, I was on the edge of stomping and jumping on those who were rude, but somehow I was able to stay in control, barely hanging on a string of hair for my sanity... but I did it, and I am glad I didn't give in to the rage. I was being provoked, but I kept my composure. Those who are deliberately rude look for a reaction to justify their behavior, and is best not to play their game, that throws them off. I am not saying that you shouldn't take action, but be discriminate in choosing your response back, sometimes an action is necessary, but the right one.
When you refuse to respond to someone who is rude to you there will be people interpreting it as a sign of weakness, but that should not bother you in the slightest. There is no need for macho behavior, nor feel the pressure to show off, this is especially true for the young people, so make a note of that.
There are times when someone may snap at you, but it doesn't mean that person is rude, something that may not be apparent could've happened. It may be a one off, to be rude is more of a habit, something that resurfaces at least once in a while. In most cases people who snap at you for no apparent reason will apologize, if they did not mean to. Don't be judgmental, understand that you are not in the other person's skin. You can only walk in your own shoes, and rushing to conclusion before you got to know that person is short sighted.
Let people show you who they are, repeated behavior will reveal the true character, and remember: always be respectful and threat people as you expect to be treated.
05 August 2017
Marius C.
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