I've been doing some thinking lately about the labels we've been given (and given to ourselves), the masks that we wear, and the roles that we play in our daily lives. Hell, I've even described myself with 6 such labels here on my own Steemit page.
We took this picture of our family on self-timer a couple years ago. We had gotten all dressed up and taken some really nice family portraits, and then decided to take one that was a little more realistic ;)
I won't delve too deeply into this subject, but it has led me to ponder a bit. I haven't opened up much on Steemit. It's been a lot of fun participating in the challenges and contests and interacting with other users. But I've mostly been a closed book when it comes to talking about myself. Although I've had intentions of doing a little writing and a little sharing, I've just always been extremely apprehensive. I'm usually a listener; not a talker. Hopefully that's about to change, thanks to Steemit. 🙂
So as I was pondering, I began thinking about one of my "labels" and about my relationship with my husband of 11 years: my best friend and my partner for life.
@jasonrussell was my first boyfriend when I was 12 years old. We were high school sweethearts, and we only split for a short time when I went off to college so I could "find myself". It wasn't long before we found our way back to one another, and here we are at ages 34 and 35 with a beautiful family.
Now that I've explained a tiny bit of our history, I would like to share a couple of the contributing factors to the longevity of our relationship. I'm pretty sure they're anything but typical, but it works for us.
Jason and I have mastered the art of bickering and bantering. We love to pick on each other and give each other crap, but in a joking manner. Our particular brand of humor may seem off-putting to some, but we crack each other up! 🙂 However, sometimes the bickering can become serious. When it starts to border on the start of what would become a fight, that's when we know it's time to stop and give each other our space.
And this space is part of what helps us maintain our healthy relationship. Don't get me wrong. We love our time together. We love to spend time with our daughters as a family. We love to hang out together with our friends.
Having fun as a family at a concert earlier this year
As photographers, we love to do photo shoots together. As music lovers, we love to go to concerts together. As nature lovers, we love to go hiking, camping and floating together. But we also enjoy doing these things apart at times, and we both understand the need for and the importance of personal space.
As adults, and especially as parents, it's difficult to find "me time". Jason and I have found a way to work that into our busy lives and allow for occasional "me time" as well as "us" time.
A couple times a month, I go out to play music with some of my best friends. It's the perfect way for me to unwind. For a couple hours, I'm not "mom", I'm not "Jason's wife" and I'm not a full time employee. I'm just in my element, letting the music flow and taking a break from the world around me.
Same goes for Jason. A couple times a month, he goes out to do photo shoots on his own. He's not "dad". He's not "Melody's husband". He's not a full-time employee. He's in his element, taking a break from the world around him. We both understand the need for this space, and the benefit as a result.
It's funny because we actually took these photos of one another, but I had to show some proof of us doing what we do! ;)
I'm sure there are many ways for this to be misinterpreted, as if we don't enjoy our roles as parents and spouses, but I mean anything but that! We have just discovered the importance of personal space and respect for one another's space. This may not work for everyone, but it works for us.
In terms of social media, I've always kept things on the surface and only shared the basic aspects of my life. So although I could elaborate much more on this subject, I'm still learning to "come out of my shell". Steemit is such a genuine, open, and welcoming place and I hope to eventually be able to share more of my thoughts on a deeper level.
Thanks for reading 🙂
That was lovely. Thank you for sharing! As a mostly loner its inspiring to see such understanding of eachother. Beautiful!
Aww ☺️ Thanks so much for reading!
This is a beautiful post, you are amazing. I enjoyed the peek into your world, and your thoughts on family structure, balancing being a parent with being yourself. You and your husband sound like you found your flow, that is so wonderful. Some people never get that, and your way is very uniquely your own. Thank you so much for sharing it with the world @melodyrussell.
I am so incredibly grateful for the balance my husband and I have found. That's not to say that there haven't been bumps in the road, but we know what works for us! Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful, meaningful words @lifemovedbysteem! ☺️
I'm glad you guys have such a good balance. I do feel that the "me" time is healthy for everyone in the family, it's just at times difficult for me. Bryan often offers it, and I'm all for it! I get myself ready, then as soon as I head out the door, the kids are screaming for me. I feel so guilty that they're crying, and that I'm leaving him in that situation, that I either end up staying home, or offer them to go with me. Anyone who knows me knows I absolutely adore my kids and husband, but have to admit it would be nice to have some time without all the guilt.
I think the guilt becomes less and less over time as they get older. Trust me, when the girls were younger, they would scream and cling to me and beg and plead for me to stay. It absolutely broke my heart. But as it became more of a habit, they realized that mom always comes back. That guilt is still there when I go out on music nights, but after years of doing it, I know now that the benefits outweigh the guilt by far.
I love these photos so much I want to hang them on my wall!! I think you and @jasonrussell have found a great way to manage the stresses and joys of life super well! I'm glad you shared and feel more open sharing here then 'there'. I love that aspect of steem! You two are awesome people, parents, friends, partners and individuals!! You are both so talented in several ways! I'm glad to be good friends with you.
Thanks Brooke! Life can be crazy and overwhelming at times but we're thankful for each other and for all of the awesome friendships that we've been able to maintain throughout the years! Not a single one of you goes unappreciated! ❤️