One thing that I cannot tolerate is fakeness and pretense. When someone tries to show me what they are not, probably for some time I do get caught up in their fakeness but fakeness cannot go a long way and some time or the other the true self comes forward, and when that happens, the opposite person will know it because I will not pretend to not know it. I will be very vocal about my feelings.
Is it wrong to do that? I believe that if you do not express it out genuinely then you yourself are also faking it. Yes, probably sometimes my way of expressing is rude and harsh and that does not go very well with people. But then somethings are hereditary and this I guess I have got it from my father. I am not a short-tempered person and I can tolerate people to quiet an extent but when it goes overboard then I need to speak out and that's where people do not like me.
Many people do sweet and sugar-coated talks, but I cannot do that, what is on my mind is in my words. A few days back, there is a lady who reached out to me for some health issues. I know her since many years and she has been taking advice from me on her health and diet. But the issue with her is she takes all the advice but barely follows it and then keeps complaining about her health. She follows it for a certain period of time and then gets back to her normal. When I tell her to cut off some foods from her diet completely, she wants to tell me all the possible reason to go on with it. When she reached out to me this time, I was anyways not in my best mood that time, and I told her very clearly that with her habits she can never heal and get better. She felt very offended and thought that I behaved very mean with her, which I actually did.
But my whole point was, that if she was not going to do what is needed for her then there is no point taking advice and wasting other people's time. If she expects me to be nice all the time, and keep telling her the same things then that is what is not possible for me. I observe that some people like to get into victim mode and keep feeling sorry for them. They want other people's sympathy and that's not even the last thing that I can do to such people.
I did realize later that my way of telling her was very rude and upfront and she stopped talking to me after that. I did apologize for my way of saying and not for what I said, because that was needed for her. But she has kind of blocked me now :-). People do not want to hear the truth that's the sad part of the world. Yes, when someone gives me a critical feedback, I too feel bad about it, but then to think of it when they do it critically means something is surely wrong and needs to improve, this is what I believe. When someone does it out of dislike for you, that's a different thing, but we can understand those differences.
What do you all think, Is it wrong to be honest and upfront or we need to play it diplomatically?
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I've found that playing it diplomatically doesn't always work. In many cases, being upfront and speaking your truth gets the job done or point across. As for the lady with the health issues, I think she will come around after she pondered about the incident. If not, then she isn't ready to take her life in her own hands and do what needs to be done to heal herself.
We might want all the good for people but if they don't want it for themselves, there isn't really much we can do.
I feel it never works, it may for a short time but in the long run the reality comes forward. True, we can do as much from our side but the other person should also be willing to take it.
Right. That's the problem with being diplomatic, it's just a short term fix, requiring more effort in the long run.
I can relate to this as I am always not being liked by other people because I am too upfront too. I don't like to sugarcoat anyway so I am just being honest and saying what I wanted to say of course not my intention to hurt other people's feelings.
Our intentions are not bad, but yes we do need to mind how we communicate and sometimes I fail in that and suffer.
hahaha it's my topic, dear:))
there are so few people who can take me and my truth:)
people need sweet lie, almost noone is ready to take the truth
Many people like that sweet lie, because it kind of boost up their ego. But I surely cannot give them and I know for sure you sail in my boat.....hehe
I'm all for being straightforward and not sugarcoating things.
In business I think everyone does that to capitalize. Sugarcoating and boosting opposite person's ego works well in businesses.
It's good to have a such a tribe where there is no place for fakeness