Sometimes I get pretty excited about having left high school, learned a skill, and now working to make some money to take care of my needs. Other times, I regret growing up so fast, leaving high school, and having to take care of my own needs, and today is one of those days.
This morning, I woke up feeling a little pissed off at life. Waking up to the dim light seeping through the curtains, I felt a wave of frustration, heavy like a weight on my chest. Ever since I left high school and started working, I've been responsible for most of my needs, and it's been tough. I definitely miss being in school, where all I needed to do was wake up, eat, and not worry about anything because my parents and siblings took care of everything I needed.
Not that I don't have my parents or siblings now, but if you've left high school, you can relate to the fact that it's an automatic transition to adulthood, or rather, mini-adulthood, whether you've officially reached the age of adulthood or not. This means you now have to work and buy yourself essentials and wants; you're basically in charge of your own life now.
And it's as if life knows you're in charge and starts throwing more problems your way. There are always a thousand and one items you need, and you can't even decide which to get or which to leave behind. And talking about getting things, with what money and whose? Certainly not your parents'. You have to work your ass off to afford those needs, and sometimes it feels like the more you work to satisfy those needs, the more needs arise.
It's like riding an endless roller coaster. Just when you think you've reached the top and can take a breather, another loop appears, leaving you feeling like you're constantly in motion, without a moment to pause and catch your breath.
Sometimes, I wonder how my parents and other adults have managed to pull it off. I mean, looking at them and how they've managed to do it over the years without having to whine and complain stuns me. Probably because they've been adults for so long.
To make matters worse, there are a lot of people out there ready to remind you at the slightest misbehavior that you're no longer a kid and you're expected to get everything right. Does that mean that as an adult, you're not allowed to make mistakes, break down and feel sad, play, or have fun? It seems like there's more to adulthood than I was informed about. Am I even an adult?
Sometimes I really wish I could scream out my annoyance, but no matter how much I whine about it, the bitter truth remains that I am transitioning into adulthood, and there's no turning back.
Bitter truth Indeed!
credits
image from pexel