wonderful read man.
i have been noticing similar things and been pondering a lot about living and dying lately also.
we have the "you only live once" idea so deeply drilled into us that we fully believe it. at the end of the day the fear of death really is the only enemy to our true inner freedom. it is something i am working on a lot lately so i felt prompted to comment.
at the risk of offending you(r programming), here is something i want to share. it is only an offer, nothing more.
the way you are describing your experience, what do you have to lose?
blessings from italy!