Generally the lifestyle and attitude of every person we come across in life can be summed up with a few assessments and assumptions based on how far we were able to relate with that individual, how much time we had to spend with then, the information we were able to exchange and values shared. Questions about how much privacy that is required in every relationship is mostly a function of the level of intimacy that exists on the platform of every friendship, and this level of intimacy cannot be evaluated by the character and responses we tend to receive when we relate with our family, friends and strangers.
On a narrow scale it can be concluded that the way the average person relates with people under this three different categories i.e family,friends and strangers is simply a function of how much information of the other party they've been able to grasp, and at every stage of a relationship it all depicts the height and depth of how much connection that is being shared consciously or unconsciously. A brief research on the the philosophy of the human mind and it's ability to set boundaries when it comes to our personal relationships with people classified from the known to the unknown has shown that it lies only on one factor that each person possesses in a unique form and that is the character of an individual.
The English word "character” is derived from the Greek charaktêr, which was originally used of a mark impressed upon a coin. Later and more generally, “character” came to mean a distinctive mark by which one thing was distinguished from others, and then primarily to mean the assemblage of qualities that distinguish one individual from another. In modern usage, this emphasis on distinctiveness or individuality tends to merge “character” with “personality.” We might say, for example, when thinking of a person’s idiosyncratic mannerisms, social gestures, or habits of dress, that “he has personality” or that “he’s quite a character.”
But then this has in all generations in time turned out to be a powerful tool for those who have been able to maneuver its manifestation when they come in contact with people of different race, beliefs or attitude. The physical behavior then serves as cloud or mostly a mask in which people can hardly decipher ones real intent and lifestyle despite the information shared, time spent with each other and lots more.
Aristotle in one of his books "the Nicomachean Ethics", Aristotle tells us that there are two different kinds of human excellences, excellences of thought and excellences of character. His phrase for excellences of character — êthikai aretai — we usually translate as “moral virtue(s)” or “moral excellence(s).” The Greek êthikos (ethical) is the adjective cognate with êthos (character). When we speak of a moral virtue or an excellence of character, the emphasis is not on mere distinctiveness or individuality, but on the combination of qualities that make an individual the sort of ethically admirable person he is. And beyond this physical quality that can be seen or felt when we get closer to ourselves as humans there's a natural phenomenon to get a little protective and cautious of how much of our inner self we divulge for others to know. And this very fact has crippled many relationships because unknowing to us that our character provides a strong emotional centre of love and support in which everyone we meet builds a foundation on. At times these foundations could lead to good fortunes and conversely they could harm us if they were constructed with the wrong motives.
Have you ever had the feelings of becoming someone you think the world would do admire, have you ever wished you could go back in time just to right a wrong or do things differently in the future, have you ever been in deep pain or extreme happiness that the current waves of activities around didn't matter other than your present state? Take a good look at yourself in those moments you would discover that it was as if a new look had been given to you, a new force/energy has taken hold over your consciousness and in those moments we appear to be someone else, we speak to put on a mask of a completely different identity.
When it comes to the following contexts in the proceeding paragraph, it tries to analyze the basic factors that influences our changes in character at different circumstances.
•In Our Weaknesses
There are times in life when we get so uncertain of ourselves, confused or even afraid to speak up, too weak to move a finger due to the people we have one way or the other let into our lives, we have become gaslighted by their influences and hold upon our will. At such point the ultimate defence we can possibly put up to prevent this from proceeding deeper into our minds is to not let any person hold the truth about us. We have to put on a completely different character, we have to always become someone else whenever we are close to such people not because we want to completely hide ourselves in the mask of a new lifestyle but because we want to perform the subtle corrections in response that may be necessary to loosen oneself from one’s own perspective and specific passions.
•In Our Strength and Courage
We deliberately try to always appear brave and strong, confident and smart. But deep within we passionately long for that one who would dare to look deeper just to see how loud we are shouting at the top of our voices saying "help me, I need some assistance". I remember some few years ago when I had to prepare a speech as the leader of a project group. I had no idea of how the presentation was supposed to be like, the contents of my speech and approach. But then there was this consistent confidence and calmness that I wore as a soldiers uniform with pride. Now at that point I could definitely conclude that my character was completely a function of the need to put on the facade that I'm okay and strong, but the truth is that ironically I was so scared and weak within. That is to say that behind the mask of every seemingly confident and brave person we come close to, he has taken the stand not to let his emotions hijack his physical being that is noticeable.
•Our Hopes and Dreams.
There are times in life when we always come to that crossroad where the anxiety of our hopes and dreams, who we want to be in the future, the fame we desire, the wealth and all that floods our mindset. Then few moments later sequel to that thought, we find a certain internal force motivating us to push further in our various hustle and plans just to achieve that goal we envisioned. We find ourselves putting on a new character, a new lifestyle, but then days or even months later after that inner vigor might have waned due to the lack of enthusiasm and inspiration from external sources we fall back right down to the very spot we began. The question is, did we really change or did we temporarily put on a mask that made it look like yes, I have turned over a new leaf. Imagine if you should meet with this individual in question at that point of resilience and strength, one would aarguably call that his true nature unknowing that it was all a mask of discipline.
Therefore there's a need to draw a line in showing the limits of what we cannot fake to be true, and let's strive to be nothing more than the physical manifestation of the good that lies within.
Author; D.E Abraham
Photocredit; @deyabala
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