Parenting is not an easy job. The responsibilities on the shoulder of parents are not a joke. They are responsible for the grooming and learning of their children. If not handled with care and caution they might break or they might get out of control. Since children are sensitive and the society they face is a harsh world, parents need to be on their heels in order to comfort them and carefully guide them through the obstacles and march them towards the future. If parents become too lenient, with the mind-set to never let their children get hurt either mentally or physically, then they might be surprised to find out that they are ruining the future of their children with their own hands. Spoiling a child has its share of disadvantages.
It was said about spoiled kids that:
“These kids who never have any accountability for their actions will continue through life thinking nothing is their fault, and everything is owned by them.”
Taking for Granted:
If a child is never taught to clean his room, to pick up his toys after he plays with them, to put his used cutlery in the kitchen after every meal, then the child will grow up never adapting to these things. The child will never do it in the future. He would become an untidy, lazy bag of uselessness. The child starts to take everything for granted. And when the time comes for him to clean after himself he would never do it. And it is not the child’s fault, it’s the parents. The children start to believe they own everything and they start becoming selfish. They end up even taking away the rights of others just for their own satisfaction. They become creatures filled with pride.
Unable to Face Reality:
If the child grows up in extreme pampering and remains unexposed to the cruel reality of the world, he might not be able to face the world. The child would become the victim of bullying, and depression. He would lose his self-confidence. He would not be able to show his full potential, rather he might not even bother working hard. It becomes hard for the child to talk about it to his parents. The parents end up not knowing the cause of the problem and wonder if the child has any psychological problem, when in reality they are the root cause of the problem.
According to P. J. O’Rourke, he says:
“At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child-miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats”.
Maintaining a Balance:
Parents need to maintain a balance, since they do not want to break their child, but too much love or too much loath can only shatter the child. Loving and spoiling on its own is not a bad thing. It even help create a better understanding between the children and their parents. But if the child becomes spoiled he tends to ignore whatever it is that their parents have to say. They are unable to do what is expected of them and in the end they blame their parents for their miserable lives.
It was advised to parents that:
“Do not let your daughter wear make-up at 10, date at 12, wear provocative clothing at 14 and then wonder why she got pregnant at 16!”
Conclusion:
In the end, if a child is spoiled he would only become harder to deal with as he grows older. He might not even enjoy being independent, he would be dependent on his parents to ‘serve’ him for the rest of his life. Thus parents should not be very lenient with their children, teaching them the difference between what is right and what is wrong is their duty. They should punish their children for doing something bad, not any harsh punishment, just simple chores like helping his mother with the laundry. Children are curious creatures. It would be best to deal with them as carefully as one can.
For it was said that:
“It takes tremendous strength and resolve to allow your kids to suffer the consequences of their decisions”.
Parenting definitely is a difficult thing to walk through, and unfortunately it is really hard to know how one kid will respond to a certain approach or the other. The reality is, kids are different and usually benefit from different things.
My wife and I have been following a model called Love and Logic as best as we can. The basic idea is that the whole parent-child relationship needs to be steeped in love, but that also means setting boundaries and using logical rules for the kids. This prevent the spoiled child, without the child ever having to question whether they are loved or not.
parents should educate children with affection, but should not pampering their children
Extreme pampering is not a good idea.There is need to strike a balance between showing love to our children and giving them discipline when the need arises. If over pampered, kids will grow up expecting everyone else to treat him/her same way. Of course practically, life itself is not seeking whom to pamper.
I believe that a parent should influence the child into having a healthy and open-mind mentality, you can always spoil your child if you made him understand what responsibility and manners are. A child looks up to his parents and family for a model in life and if he gets that example then you know for sure that he's going to follow it. Showing him what respect is by respecting others when he's around, teaching him that you must be kind to others and letting him get that independence, because every child has that moment when he wants to do things on his own.
So I do agree with the post you wrote @sameer777 , kids shouldn't be pampered too much, they should be let to experience everything, gain confidence in themselves and learn from their mistakes.
This post has received a 25.73 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @sameer777.
I believe extreme pampering is indeed bad for the proper development of the child.
Everyone need to gain a sense of independence when reaching adulthood, but this was never compatible with the way your parents raised you, then this child will have several issues later in life.
Finding a balance is key in order to have the child reaching a mature and all put adulthood.
As it is written spear the rod, spoil the child. Children grow up to display most of the attitude they learnt from childhood, their environment and above all from their parents, so as a parents learn to discipline the child when he or she deserves it, and bring up the child in the way he or she should grow. I know it's not easy for some parents because some children have this bad inbuilt characters in them, so as a parents you can only bring up your child to be good through the help of God, so always ask God for directions and for him to teach you what to do.
good post excellent job bro thanks. very power full car