thanks for the comment!, I know i am still dealing with it, hopefully if motivation lets me ill finish writing part 2 and 3 with more recent events in the following days. as this post is from events that happened circa 2007-2010. At this point of life, I wouldnt know how my life would be without depression, It shaped me. to the point where when I was taking meds and wasnt depressed anymore for some months i didn't feel like myself anymore, weird stuff, but hey I guess that's just how it is.
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Essentially, it lies about everything, so our negative thoughts may not be the exact representation of reality.