I am in a constant fluctuation between free-flowing glorious, soulful presence and a struggle with true life's challenges. Why does this happen? Well, in part because many of life's challenges don't care how in tune you are with your soul. When you are calling financial companies, dealing with insurance, attorneys, and all the horse-shit that we are sometimes faced with, your soul may check out for a bit to let you handle the business side of things.
It feels awful to give your soul a time-out, but maybe that is a reservation tactic. It is meant to keep your sacred soul safe and free of worldly worries. After all, that is ALL they are... worldly worries. They will pass, each and EVERY TIME. But, they challenge and leave you wondering.
I was recently brought into this place of worry and big challenges and it lasted for a few weeks. I needed clearing. LOTS OF CLEARING. I wasn't making space for my woo-woo crystal holding meditation, I wasn't giving myself creative space, and I felt lost. I lost my desires somewhere in the saga. It sounds super dramatic, but it was HEAVY and I had a hard time unloading it.
I am human, you are human.
I am GROWING a new business, I am GROWING a baby, I am GROWING a family, I am MANAGING a house-hold with my husband, WE are GROWING an investment mindset, WE are in a space of PURE GROWTH. I, too am in a state of PURE GROWTH. When you have to combine all of that, it takes a reliance on self, on soul, on dreams, on PURE POTENTIAL.
So after looking at all the growth I am balancing.... WHY DIDN'T I EXPECT TO HAVE GROWING PAINS???
Instead of looking through the lens of pure potential (which I teach in my coaching), I found myself in a state of PURE FEAR. I was fearful of the realities and mountains that were before me. They left me scared and slightly paralyzed. And I let it. I let all of it.
In the state of fear, there are strong and harsh limits. These limits only exist within yourself. Are you able to receive when you are focused on fear? NO. Are you operating from a space of security when you are focused on FEAR and TRIALS? NO, again.
When you focus on fear, feeling insecure, being limited, finding yourself abandoned from your soulful safety and desires, you find yourself FAR from where you really want to be.
I know that I will never fully arrive at this magical place where challenges don't exist. That place is a mirage. There will always be difficulties and trials. The goal here is to limit the amount of time you allow fear and doubt to take space in your life.
FEAR is a debtor that collects all your ENERGY and PRESENCE. Don't pay it. Tell it to piss off. Your energy and presence is reserved for SO MUCH MORE.
I CAN, everyday, focus on the journey and the pure potential that is within me. When I focus on that, and rekindle my soul that skipped out on me the moment I relied on my hard, masculine approach, I can return to my serene, feminine place where creativity flows, abundance dances around in my mind, heart, and soul.
I love it here. The balance of energy and manifesting my dreams through my creative work and all the growth that I am going through IS ALWAYS WORTH IT.
Remember that no matter how you are being blocked in life: by people, situations, challenges, or whatever... ask yourself "AM I PAYING THIS SHIT TO STAY AROUND?" If you are, STOP. Stop inviting it to say and then supporting it to choke your potential in life.
Go toward the light, every time. With enough practice, these difficult times will stay over shorter times because with learned behaviors that focus on JOY, you will invite only the best to stay with you.
XXXX <3
Colleen