For many years I was a full time mom with a blog. It was not my dream. It was an expectation I bought into. I've been very open about my truth that, had I not been expected to have children, I believe I would be happier, more satisfied and more fulfilled in many ways. The reason is that my children reopened many wounds from my abusive childhood. The plus side of that is they have pushed me to grow emotionally. I am much stronger, better and am following my dreams because of how hard parenting is, how much I frequently dislike it, and how often I want to run away.
Okay, let me follow that with "I am in a really good place right now." I am. When I started to resent my children a few months ago, I realized something was off. Because, even though I'm not crazy about parenting (aka parenting makes me crazy), I'm in love with my children.
I began taking antidepressants. It was an enormous change in a short time. I could look at my kids with love instead of anger. I ended up adding anti-anxiety meds, and now I can enjoy my children, not just tolerate them. I am so proud of myself for following through on self-care that scared me. I've had a lot of bad reactions to medications. I've also had many periods when I didn't need them and was able to rely on exercise, meditation and supplementation. But I do need them now and I am grateful I chose this path.
The pain and mental illness triggered by having children is actually what pushed me into doing what I do. I teach people how to write through trauma in order to experience release and recovery. When I share this with those who ask, people tend to draw back for a moment, then lean forward and say, "That sounds really important." Instantly, they begin thinking of all the people in their lives who might benefit from private coaching or signing up for my online class with the Center for Creative Writing. Registration for January is open now!
But this isn't all I do. I homeschool one of my three children, I write on Steemit, I write for multiple publications, I run a magazine with @raymondspeaks, and I teach at retreats (I can't wait to tell you about the one coming up in October!!!). Sometimes I host my own retreats. I also teach nonfiction classes locally through a community college.
Oh yeah. And I'm a Girl Scout troop leader.
Usually people are upside down from looking at my sideways as I make my way through this list. I get it. It's a lot. But this is my passion. I am so deeply, profoundly grateful that I get to teach, write and support hearts other than my own.
Okay, I might actually explode with the joy of what I do.
I intend to keep building my writing practice until my husband (@nat5an) and I can switch roles. He's a software engineer with an amazing job of his own. When I am able to meet our financial needs, if he wants, he can work from home and pursue his entrepreneurial dreams while I support our family financially. Being the primary parent while building a business isn't easy. It's why I have moved forward so slowly, and why I am split in so many directions. Soon, I will be more focused on teaching through my own business, Survive Your Story. We have taken the first step to renovating what will be Story House, my writing retreat center. We have the permit to add a bathroom!
Once Story House is finished, I will be streamlining my business significantly including offering more online course options. I hope you'll write with me.
What are your professional dreams?
images from pixabay.com
Your past sorrow really was a lot of trouble. Every person has problems in life. Thank you so much for a nice post.
Thank you for reading! It's beautiful to have past sorrow as it makes present joy so much sweeter.
Very good job @shawnamawna
Thank you!
Thank you for writing this. I'm just starting out on here, but my goals are similar to yours. I stay home with our 3 year old twins and it's hard! But writing and steemit have given me some hope these past few weeks. Maybe I have more to contribute than being a mom. In fact, I know I do. You said, "The pain and mental illness triggered by having children is actually what pushed me into doing what I do. I teach people how to write through trauma in order to experience release and recovery."
Can you help me figure out how to write my story? I suffer from ptsd caused by our son having a life threatening accident at home last year. I think writing about it would be good for me, but every time I try to tackle that project, i find i just can't do it. Any advice? Thank you in advance.
I would be honored to support you in writing your story. I teach a class specifically devoted to writing through trauma and I have openings for January. I don't know if you followed the link, but here it is in case you miss it.
I also have a set of resources on getting ready to write through trauma on my personal website (as well as a few in my feed here). My recommendation is definitely to take the class. It's amazingly powerful and customized to you, but to also check out these free resources. Here is a list of specific posts for getting your writing practice started. You can also follow my instagram feed instagram.com/surviveyourstory and request to join #LinkYourLife Connection on Facebook. That group is a supportive community for artists and survivors that is moderated to be a safe space to connect, share and grow our art.
Let's stay connected on this, even if it's in this thread. Following you.
Thank you very much! I will check out everything you mentioned. I did see the workshop, but it's out of my budget at the moment unfortunately. I'm gonna put it on my Christmas list though. 😁🤞
Awesome! I hope this helps. Let me know. :)
I just have to say, I love you for who you are, what you stand for, and what you choose to do with your life and your trauma. The world needs more people like you.
Thank you. This truly warms my heart.
I feel you in so many ways! Both with my kids and with being pulled in so many directions trying to build something from the ground up.
I really want to sign up for your writing course. Clicked the link but I’m so not ready yet... I don’t even know what processing this looks like. I’ve been so busy this year that I’ve had to put processing everything to the side so I could focus on all I needed to do.
I’m guessing you can sign up at other times too? If so, I hope to join sometime in the near future.
You absolutely can! I would love love love to write with you. In the meantime, I'm about to drop some links in response to @khackett's comment that can help you get ready to write through trauma. :)
Cool! I'll check that out.
I look forward to being ready to delve into it all... Sort of, not really at all. Lol. I do look forward to the healing that will come with it.
It can be really scary, but so worth it.
Oh my gosh! You do lots of things, that's very impressive!
You are a grown-up woman and I'm sure you're doing the right thing. Also, it's awesome that you have that kind of support from your husband. You sound like an excellent family!
I wish you the best and I'm going to follow you because you are passionate about writing and want to practice. I'm young and I have never studied something related to writing or have read lots of books but I'm not that bad at writing. This topic has turned an interesting one for me since a couple of years and I think this is going to be another kind of "job" or perhaps, let's call it "something fun".
Excellent post!
I am VERY grateful for my partner's support. He is amazing. I love being able to pursue what I do. If writing speaks to you, listen. It's the path to global connection!
Shawna, you continue to inspire. Thank you for being you <3
I also look forward to fulfilling my own professional goals that will allow me to support my family so my own Nathan can spend more time chasing his dreams.
Like minds. I know you’re going to get there.