@macksby Jeesh, this was upsetting to read. I was homeless for 8 months in NYC and you CAN handle it if it were to happen...the imagined future is worse than the real moment to moment reality. I mean it. I hope you get the loan - but if you don't sometimes life has a way of moving us in a new direction and we build resilience while we're at it. You are loved here and who cares about the people that turned their backs on you...good to know! 💖
Ahhhh -- Im so sorry I upset you... And I understand these struggles that we all face are meant to build character and resilience -- but these last few years, it has been one thing on top of the other. And then to realize all the people in my life don't really give a shit, hit me in a very profound way -- and it wasn't a good feeling. I appreciate, so much, that people like yourself exist in this world -- I just haven't been around many of them, lately.
Its better to be alone for a while. I basically did that for 4 years up in The Bronx. It hurts and I dont mean to make light of that part. But, its better to get to a point to see how self centered, and probably broken in some way, the people in our lives are. Now, several years later Im more or less back on my feet and back in Manhattan and Im a transformed person. I even grew out of getting assaulted right before I moved, as you know. I have compassion for all the people that "abandoned" me now...from a distance! :)
Also, I wouldn't say they are "meant to" build character. I think that they can if we allow it. If we approach difficulties this way. It's our choice. I didn't realize it at the time but I chose to push through and tried to grow despite all the challenges I faced. It worked. I think I should write a book about this! 💖