Your children come to the world through you - but that does not mean that you have to live your unlived life, unfulfilled hopes and dreams through them. While they will need your unconditional love, empathy, support and assistance until they emerge into adulthood, it is imperative that they have the complete freedom to dream dreams of their own.
There are few things more corrosive for a child than to be obliged to follow the “path” you crafted for them. Their life is their own to create, not yours to make for them. Just as they have their own life to build, so have you.
While adding children inevitably changes one’s life forever, it shouldn’t make your whole future revolve around the humans you brought into the world. You are their guide, and you surely do have to be emotionally attuned to them as a parent, and show them the way. Nonetheless, you should not put your own life behind for the “sake” of your children.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of defining yourself solely by your role as a mother or father, but your identity as a human being extends beyond these roles. Your kids will become grown one day, and you will have no choice but to let them follow their own path and life journey. What will your journey be like then?
As a healthy parent, you ought to distance yourself from your children’s interests and passions. They have the right to be pulled toward what makes them thick, without you having to get over involved, or pressure them into becoming the next best (fill in the blank).
Their victories, successes, and accomplishments are theirs, not yours. And while they surely matter, they don’t define someone’s heart. What’s inside your kid’s heart has so much more importance than the A written on his report card. That’s where you should invest your time and energy into. Modeling love, kindness and compassion.
Children shouldn’t be brought into your life because “ it’s the next logical thing to do”, because “it’s the norm to have kids” because of external pressures or perhaps because you want “someone to take care of you when you’re older.” (Believe me, I’ve heard that one.)
Parenthood isn’t another trend to follow. It’s one of the biggest life decisions that demands very careful reflection. It demands two healthy humans who have unconditional love and empathy in their hearts to give. Sadly, it is far from being every parent who has those vital attributes in them.
Pretty good article.
Did you know you have two different sets of DNA?
Aww thanks a lot:)
That's interesting. What are each of them?
There is the regular DNA which everyone knows about where you get like half from your mom and half from your Dad. That is your normal regular DNA but you also have a set of mitochondrial DNA which only comes from your mother. #mothersarepecial #haveababy ;) lol
I want someone to take care of me when I'm older :-)
HAHAHA:P
I’ll gladly volunteer to take care of @twiceuponatime ‘s ego;)
@twiceuponatime has all his drinking buddies to hang out with in his old age and look after him. As for me, I am pretty well destined to become a crazy old cat man with 73 cats running around my house (except that I don't like living with pets - so it will probably be mice running around the house).
Good article. Reminds me of all these parents going crazy and fighting at Little League games, and the kids get scared to death, with a look on their face like "hey, thought you wanted me to play this to have fun?'
Omg so true! It’s embarrassing! Its as if in those moments parents lose their adult selves
hon nice look
💜💜