This is a very personal post that I wanted to share with you all. It's aimed at those people going through a tough time. Maybe you have had a breakup, maybe you have lost someone over the Xmas holidays, maybe you are facing a financial crises or maybe you just think there's no point in carrying on. STOP. Don't do anything until you read this. I know it's a cliche to say, but if it helps just one person in a time of need then it is well worth the effort typing this long post.
I'll wait for you to grab a coffee and we will begin...
Life - Sometimes it beets the crap out of you even when you are at rock bottom
If you have to question whether you have hit rock bottom in your life then you really haven't hit rock bottom. You know when you are there. It's that place of no hope. That place of blackness. That place where you feel you can never escape. It's that place you promise never to return to if you ever find the strength to get out. Even when you hit rock bottom, don't be too surprised when you are there you are weighed down with a thousand rocks for your sins. 'Why God have you forsaken me? Answer me!'
Another rock comes crashing down...
Some people never seem to hit rock bottom or certainly never appear to. You know those people right? Those friends or family members who always seem to the 'lucky' ones, the 'happy' ones, the successful ones. The people who seem to win at life no matter what happens. 'What's their secret? Have they sold their soul to the devil? Have they made a pact with a higher force? What's wrong with me? Am I not normal? Why do bad things keep happening to me?'
These are the questions you will keep asking when you are in the depths of rock bottom. Some people call it the 'Dark night of the soul'. Some call it hell.
Dark night of the soul
'Ah, so now I have a name for it, I'm surely almost on the other side now right? Hello? Is anyone listening to me? Universe? God?'
Silence... another rock comes crashing down...
The Dark night of the soul is a period in your life when you feel all is lost and God or Universe seems to ignore all your cries for help. It's a time where you seem to lose everything and begin to question who you really are. This dark night of the soul can last several weeks, months or even several years. Some people say it's a spiritual awakening. Usually brought about by some tragic event or loss in your life. Whist going though the dark night of the soul, everything you do seems to go wrong. People who were once close to you seem to drop away and a dark vale of loneliness seems to replace what was left of your old life. You may feel like ending it all or you may feel like running away to start a new life to try and escape.
You sit alone in the dark with your thoughts waiting for the Dawn to break this dark night.
Now is the time for reflecting on who you really are. A time to drop the ego and just let the night take you where you need to go...
Warmth of the new sun
You feel the warmth of the new sun on your face. It feels like the return of long forgotten friend. But this is a new sun, a new dawn. Everything you once new about yourself and the world seems meaningless now as you embrace the comforting rays and promise to never go back to that dark place.
Whilst you are going through the dark night of the soul you will ask yourself when will it ever end. You will feel powerless, fearful, depressed and very lonely. But always remember, you will get through it. You WILL see the dawn again.
Whatever you are going through now, WILL end. That light will come again. I'm speaking from experience. I've seen it in my own life and of those close to me.
Why do we go through these periods in our life?
Life is always changing. We need to change too. What seem like tragic events at the time happen for a good reason.
Yes but losing someone brings me nothing but pain and anger!
You will never see the big picture and what lies ahead. We only get to see a small section of a big map at any single point of time. From my own experience, I can look back at times when I have lost people, including the death of someone very close and see why it happened and where that path took me. Sometimes though, these periods in our lives are caused by ourselves and our decisions. An this is why....
...You get a kick up the arse for a reason
If I learnt anything over the years, one very big lesson I learned is, If you don't sort your sh#t out the Universe will do it for you. Yep that's it. The Universe doesn't do this out of spite or maliciously, but to ensure that you CHANGE. Have you ever noticed that whenever keep putting something off that you know you should do and then suddenly all hell breaks lose and something bad happens? That's the Universe giving you a kick up the ass to get it sorted. One way or another it needed doing and you sure as hell was not going to do it. Now you have no choice.
Make the important choices and decisions yourself in a timely manor, and for the greater good or have the Universe do it for you. It's going to happen one way or another.
If you do get that mighty kick up the arse then what's done is done so you might as well just ride the wave. The end is still the same, you might just have to ride a few more to get to your destination.
Don't be afraid to talk
UK- Helplines:
Samaritans (www.samaritans.org)
- Voice: 116 123 (24/7 Free to call, will not appear on phone bills, formerly 08457 90 90 90)
- Text: 07725909090
- Email: [email protected]
Helplines for Men from thecalmzone.net:
- Voice: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight nationwide, also 0808 802 58 58 London and 0800 58 58 58 Merseyside)
- Text 07537 404717 (5pm to midnight, start your text with CALM2)
- Online Chat: https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/
ChildLine (childline.org.uk), for those 19 and under:
- Voice: 0800-11-11 (Free to call, does not appear on phone bills)
- Online Chat: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Chat/Pages/OnlineChat.aspx
- Email: http://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Pages/Email.aspx
Directory of suicide-related services: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide.php
USA Helplines:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) Veterans press 1 to reach specialised support.(The older number, 1-800-SUICIDE, is no longer published by the lifeline agency and will probably stop working in the near future.)
Online Chat: http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspxCrisis Text Line: Text "START" to 741-741Youth-Specific services (voice/text/chat/email) from the Boys' Town National Hotline: http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/ways-to-get-help.aspxSpanish: 1-800-SUICIDA
World wide helplines:
The International Association for Suicide Prevention maintains a Global Crisis Centre Directory.
The Befrienders maintain a hotline database; use the "Find a Helpline by Country" control at the top of their page.
Yes, being on this journey through life is definitely not easy for anyone. I know that every single person has a story filled with drama of all kinds. We humans are filled with diversity of emotions and connections with one another in our experiences. I believe it is good to be able to talk about and share these inner feelings, and is a giant step in a direction of resources and being able to cope when a person is in major down moment(s), which I know can exist in years.
Indeed...